Pylimitics

"Simplicity" rearranged


Beauty is in the Eye

Beauty in your eye

“I would know if I had something in my eye, Magpie,” said Hare.

“I didn’t mean that sort of something,” said Magpie, “I mean the kind of thing you have in your eye because you’re the only one who sees it.”

“The only time theres a thing that only I can see,” said Hare, “is when there’s nobody else around. Not everybody has eyes as good as yours, Magpie. Now, if you want to talk about things that only I can hear, we might get somewhere. Finally.”

Hare was getting tired of the conversation. Magpie had been trying to convince him of something — he still wasn’t quite sure what — since breakfast.

“That could be,” said Magpie, cocking her head to the side the way she did when she thought about something. “Yes, I think it’s true. It would be in your ear, too.”

“There is nothing in my ears,” said Hare. “My ears are quite clean, Magpie.”

“It’s got nothing to do with whether they’re clean. I’m talking about an idea, Hare.”

“Ideas are in your head, not in your ears,” sniffed Hare. “Or in your eyes, for that matter.”

Magpie sighed. “Do you know what a metaphor is, Hare?”

“I am a leporid who lives in a forest and talks to loony birds,” said Hare, “why would I know what a metaphor is? Why don’t you go talk to Beaver? I’m sure he knows.”

“What is it that I know?” asked Beaver, who had just ambled into the meadow.

“Metaphors,” said Hare. “And…well, there’s something else Magpie has been trying to explain, but I still don’t know what it is. Something about getting something in your eye and letting your ears get dirty.”

“That is not what I’ve been talking about at all,” huffed Magpie, fluffing her feathers in annoyance. “I’m glad you’re here, Beaver. Maybe you can help me explain to Hare.”

“Maybe I can,” said Beaver. “Maybe there something that would help in this new book I have.” He proudly waved the bright yellow book he was carrying. “I haven’t read it yet,” he said, “but from the cover, I think Otter might be interested. It’s about fish.”

“What kind of fish?” asked Hare, who was hoping something would distract Magpie.

“Let me see,” said Beaver, peering at the cover. “It seems to be about catch limits — human fishermen have those, you know — and different species of fish. Yes, I’ve read about this process. The humans catch too many fish sometimes, so they put limits on how many fish of different kinds each fisherman is allowed to catch.”

“What’s the title?” asked Magpie, who seemed to be getting interested. At least Hare hoped so.

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish,” read Beaver.

“Hmmm,” said Magpie, “That title could be in anapestic tetrameter. I wonder if that was on purpose. If it was, Beaver, I think the book might not be about fishing at all.”

“Oh, that’s interesting,” lied Hare. “Can you tell us more about antiseptic tetra…whatever, Magpie?” To himself, Hare whispered “please, please, please…”

“Some other time,” said Magpie. “I haven’t finished my first explanation, Hare. Now, Beaver, let me tell you what I’ve been trying to explain.”

“Rats,” said Hare.

“Hmmm?” said Magpie.

“Betty and Ralph Rat. They’re just coming down the path. Hello Betty! Hello Ralph!”

The Rats came over to where Hare, Beaver, and Magpie were standing. “Hello, Hare,” they said. “Hi Beaver, how are you, Magpie. We were out for a walk and thought we would stop by to see if you were in.”

“Thanks for coming,” said Hare. “I was just about to bake some tea cakes, if anyone would like some. It won’t take long. I’ll just have to go inside for a bit…” Hare started edging hopefully toward his house.

“Oh just a moment!” said Magpie. “Ralph, Betty, I’m glad to see you. You can help me with an explanation.”

Ralph and Betty Rat worked at the college, and everyone in the forest knew they were very good at explaining things.

“Why, we would love to help,” said Betty. “What is it you’re trying to explain, Magpie?”

Magpie settled down happily. “I was just trying to explain to Hare about ‘beauty being in the eye of the beholder,” she said.

“And I was just saying,” said Hare, “that if I had something in my eye, I would be the first to know about it.”

Ralph and Betty laughed. “‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ is a quotation,” said Ralph.

“That’s right,” said Betty, “and if I remember correctly…”

“Which you always do,” said Ralph.

“…it was Margaret Wolfe Hungerford who first wrote it, in her novel “Molly Bawn.”

“Yes,” said Ralph, “It was published in 1878. It was quite popular at the time, and it was even mentioned decades later by James Joyce in Ulysses.”

“In chapter 18,” said Betty.

“Precisely,” said Ralph.

“That’s the same chapter where there’s a mention of tea cakes,” said Betty.

“Some tea cakes would be lovely, wouldn’t they?”

“Did you say tea cakes?” said Hare. “If you’ll come in for just a bit, I’ll make some for everyone!” Hare dashed into his house.

Ralph and Betty Rat took Beaver’s arms and strolled into the house after Hare.

“But wait,” said Magpie, “I haven’t…Hare doesn’t…it’s a…” then Magpie remembered Hare’s tea cakes. She shrugged and went in.



About Me

I’m Pete Harbeson, a writer located near Boston, Massachusetts. In addition to writing my own content, I’ve learned to translate for my loquacious and opinionated pup Chocolate. I shouldn’t be surprised, but she mostly speaks in doggerel. You can find her contributions tagged with Chocolatiana.