Magpie surveyed the meadow from her perch on a branch on Hare’s tree. Beaver and Raccoon were just finishing the decorations, the Deer family were trimming the grass here and there, and Hare was loading up tables with all manner of snacks. Dog trotted in from the path with Ferret riding on her back.
“Hello, Magpie,” said Dog, “everything ready for the October, um, Fuss?”
“Oh, I think so, I think so,” said Magpie happily. I think this is going to be the start of something big, Dog. We can have this same party every year, just like they do in town.”
“Maybe,” said Dog. “Do you think we might want to make any changes next time? I mean, the party in town isn’t ’til tomorrow, so you could visit that one and see if their party has anything we should have too.”
“I thought of that,” said Magpie, who hadn’t. “I try to go to all the parties I can find in town; I almost always find some new shiny things for my collection.”
“I’m going to try some of those snacks,” said Ferret, jumping down from Dog’s back. “Thanks for the ride.”
“See ya later,” said Dog. “Let me know if you want to leave, Ferret.”
But Ferret was already dashing toward the snack tables. Doris Deer wandered over. “This is a pretty good meadow,” she said to Dog, “but the grass isn’t up to what we find over on the other side of the forest. There’s a meadow there, right next to the lake, you know? Grass is much better.”
“Oh,” said Dog, “I know that meadow, Doris, but I’m not the grass expert you are. Maybe Hare’s snack tables will make up for the grass?”
“Oh we’ll probably just eat too much and feel all achy and bloated,” said Doris.
“Wait,” said Dog, “have you already started the October Fuss?”
“October fuss or not,” said Felix Deer, trotting over, “this is the way we talk all the time. Except for me. I’m not a fretter.”
“You’re all the better for not being a fretter,” said Dog, who didn’t like complaining.
“Then you must be a setter,” said Felix.
“I’m more of a petter,” replied Dog with a grin.
“It’s October, so you’ll need your sweater,” said Felix.
“My sweater has a letter,” said Dog. “That makes it better.”
“Ha! I win!” said Felix, “you already said ‘better’!”
“Oh, right, I did,” said Dog. “Hey Felix, do you ever spend much time in town?”
“Are you kidding?” said Felix, “I’m a deer, we stay away from towns.”
“But you’re a very small deer,” said Dog. “I just thought maybe you hung out there sometimes, you know, staying hidden?”
“Nope,” said Felix.
“We used to spend quite a lot of time in town,” said Pa Mouse. The Mouse family had just arrived at the Fuss. “Why?”
“Oh, nothing really,” said Dog. “I just think we might have something a little bit wrong about our October Fuss. Compared to the one in town, you know. The one Magpie heard about that gave her the idea.”
“I’m still right here, you know,” said Magpie irritably. “You don’t have to talk about me as if I wasn’t.”
“I’m just getting started Fussing,” said Dog, thinking fast.
“Oh,” said Magpie. “Well that’s okay…er, I mean, that’s not a very good excuse, Dog. It’s too bad nobody pays enough attention any more.”
“Attention to what?” asked Ma Mouse, who still hadn’t quite grasped the whole ‘October Fuss’ idea.
“Attention to me, of course,” said Magpie. “That’s the trouble around here; nobody pays enough attention to me.”
“Oh come on,” said Raccoon, who was on her way back to the house to put away the last of the decorating supplies. “We’re having this whole dumb party just because of you, Magpie.”
“I should just keep my ideas to myself then,” sniffed Magpie.
“Dear me,” said Ma Mouse, “is everyone feeling cranky today?”
“No, it’s like I was trying to explain before,” said Pa Mouse, “the October Fuss is a party for fussing, so everyone is trying to find things to complain about.”
“Well I don’t like it,” said Ma. “I don’t like complaining, and I don’t like those who do it.”
“Now you’re getting the idea,” said Pa. He blinked, then added, “Um, I mean, I don’t like it either, and there’s too much of it going on, especially today. And I hate snacks too, so let’s go check them out to make sure we know which are the best…I mean, the worst.” Ma and Pa Mouse and the Mouse children hurried off toward the snacks.
“Rats,” said Dog, “I didn’t get a chance to ask them about the October Fe..er, Fuss in town.”
“It’s not ’til tomorrow,” said Magpie. “So they wouldn’t know about it.”
“In town they have one every year,” said Dog. “And I just had a couple of questions about it.”
“Oh who cares about your questions anyway,” said Magpie.
“Magpie, that sounds more like just being grumpy than fussing,” said Dog. “Aren’t there any rules for this thing?”
“Rules?” asked Magpie. “Er…I dunno, Dog. I hadn’t thought of that. Do they have rules at the one they have in town?”
“Maybe that was going to be one of my questions,” said Dog. It wasn’t one of her questions, but Magpie had managed to make her feel a bit annoyed. The same thing was happening around the snack tables, where everyone had decided to complain about the snacks instead of eating them. Except for Otter and Muskrat, who were happily sampling anything someone claimed was the worst.
Beaver came over and sat down next to Dog. “Do you think this is going to get better?” he asked.
“I don’t know, Beaver.” said Dog. “I was just asking Magpie if there were any rules. You know, about what you should and shouldn’t say?”
“Everybody is trying so hard to fuss and complain that it’s making them all irritable,” said Beaver. “I don’t much like it. And that’s not an October Fuss, either.”
They watched as two of the Deer family — Dog guessed Dennis and Desmond — started butting each other, and Squirrel and Hedgehog started yelling at each other.
“I think this has gone far enough,” said Dog.
“What are you going to do?” asked Beaver.
“This,” said Dog, and she took a deep breath and let out a string of barks that were so loud and dangerous-sounding that everyone in the meadow stopped what they were doing and stared.
“I have an announcement,” said Dog loudly. “The Fuss part of October Fuss is over. No more complaining. Let’s all go back to our regular selves and just enjoy this nice party Magpie organized for us. Tomorrow Magpie and I will check out the party in the town and find out how they do it. They have years of experience with these things, you know, so I’m sure they have a way to make it a fun party. Until then, let’s just have a fun party our own way.”
Everyone relaxed. “Sorry I yelled,” said Squirrel to Hedgehog.
“That’s okay,” said Hedgehog, “I yelled too. I was just trying to do my best to do that fussing thing. But I’m worried that I’m not very good at it.”
Even the Deer, who were better at fretting than nearly anyone, stopped arguing amongst themselves.
Magpie, who was still perched on the same branch, said “I guess that was a good idea, Dog. Are you really going to come with me to the October Fuss in town tomorrow?”
“Sure,” said Dog. “Maybe we’ll learn something.”
After the Fussing was taken out of the October Fuss, everyone had a good time after all. Then the next day, Dog trotted to the park in town where she knew the party was. She also knew it wasn’t really called an October “Fuss,” but she thought Magpie should probably find that out for herself. Which, she discovered, Magpie already had. When Dog got to the park, there was Magpie, sitting on a fencepost.
“Dog,” she said, “you’ll never guess what’s happened! It’s not an October FUSS at all!”
“Really?” said Dog as innocently as she could manage.
“Really,” said Magpie. “I must have, I dunno, misheard it or something the first time. This is called an October FEST, and it’s just a regular party.”
“Like the one we had yesterday,” said Dog.
“Well, the one we ended up having,” said Magpie. “Thanks to you, Dog.”
“I just don’t like complaining,” said Dog. “But look over there, Magpie. I see something shiny, dropped in the grass.”
“Ooh, I see it too,” said Magpie, and she flew over to add it to her collection.
“Well I’m glad that’s settled,” said Dog, and she trotted off to have some fun.
—
October Fests (not “Fusses;” Magpies do not have the most acute hearing) may have originated in Munich, Germany in the 19th century. The first OctoberFest was probably held to celebrate the marriage of King Ludwig I to Princess Therese of Saxe-Hildburghausen, which was on October 12, 1810.
