In the sometimes mysterious and remote Blue Ridge mountains in the US state of Virginia, there are countless obscure valleys and hidden keeps. The only habitation of note is Roanoke, where, on October 11, 1937, a baby was born. It’s not recorded whether any omens predicted the birth, whether any supernatural events accompanied it, or even whether the birth was marked in the skies by mysterious lights or other events.
The baby in question was named Richard Henry Wilde Dillard, and he grew up captivated by words, letters, and writing. He became a teacher of creative writing, and married his best student, Annie Dillard, who became a well-known writer. There were, ominously, nearly exactly eight years separating their ages. But they divorced after a period of years — ominously, not nearly exactly eight years.
Meanwhile, immensely far from Roanoke and the protected glens of the Blue Ridge mountains, events were transpiring to threaten those mountains and those who lived there. Or, more to the point, about half of those who lived there. Those threatened were only…the women! The Earth, you see, is not the only seat of life in the Solar System. Much older, and some would say, colder and more cruel, is the Red Planet. Mars.
The inhabitants of Mars had warred against one another from ancient times, and finally arrived at a conflict doomed by its weapons: atomic bombs and death rays. In the final conflagration, nearly half of all the inhabitants perished. When the survivors took stock, they realized that except for their leader, Princess Marcuzan, only men remained. All the women of Mars were gone!
Meanwhile, back on Earth, the Space Program was thriving, and Colonel Frank Saunders became an astronaut. Or perhaps we should say “was designed to be an astronaut.” Colonel Frank Saunders, you see, was an android, an astro-robot! He was sent into space on a mission, but met with the worst misfortune!
You see, meanwhile, back on Mars, Princess Marcuzan and her chief advisor, Dr. Nadir, had devised a solution to the problem the Martian population faced. They would mobilize a task force to repopulate Mars with women…human women stolen from Earth! Their powerful telescopes had detected that Earth had plenty of women, and even better, some of them wore a human garment called a “bikini.” They launched immediately!
Meanwhile, in Earth orbit, Colonel Frank Saunders was completing his mission when his electronic brain detected the Martian invaders! He was about to report the news to Headquarters when his capsule was targeted by a ray gun and crashed in Puerto Rico. Frank was severely injured — or perhaps we should say “damaged” — and became an astro robot without a functioning control system. He had also been horribly disfigured by the attack. Lost in Puerto Rico, with no electronic control system, he began to terrorize the island. Particularly parties on beaches. Featuring young women. And some of them wore a human garment called a “bikini!”
Meanwhile, on the Martian ship, a veteran soldier named Mull, who had been horribly scarred in the atomic war, was sent in pursuit of the unexpected Earth space capsule. The Martian telescopes had detected the bikini-clad women, but had missed the human Space Program and worried that resistance from Earth might be more formidable than expected. Mull found Frank, or at least what Frank had become. The two battled, and both were destroyed!
Meanwhile…well, um, not much else happened. The Martians evidently gave up or something, and died out, which is why the recent robotic explorations of Mars haven’t found any life. Deprived of bikini-clad women, the Martian race is no more!
Meanwhile, you may be wondering about Richard Henry Wilde Dillard. It’s simple; he was a poet and a writer, and chronicled these events in the screenplay Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster, released to human audiences on Earth in 1965. In the misty hollows of the Blue Ridge mountains, it’s related in whispered tones that the film can still be viewed on YouTube.
The space shield eye protectors were free!
Note: Frankenstein’s monster never appeared in the movie, and other than the title, wasn’t even mentioned. Also I haven’t really been fair to Richard Dillard; he was really a well-regarded, award-winning poet. The screenplay was just a one-time thing.
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