Hare softly knocked his forehead against the wall in his kitchen. Gritting his teeth, he took the plate of tea cakes and went back into the living room. Filbert was still talking.
“So I told the dude, ‘you’re one cool cat,’ I said, ‘so just hang loose.’” Filbert leaned his chair back so he almost tipped over, then casually balanced on just the two back legs.
“Oh man oh man,” he said, looking at Hare (and the cakes), “lay one on me, Hare!”
Raccoon rolled her eyes as Hare gave Filbert a cake. “Filbert,” she said, “weren’t you talking to Dog at the time?”
“That’s heavy, Raccoon,” said Filbert, nibbling his cake. “Yeah, man, I was talking to Dog. And when I said ‘cool cat,’, by ‘cat’ I meant ‘dog’.”
“If you call Dog a cat when she’s here,” said Hedgehog, “you might get nipped, Filbert. Dog doesn’t really like cats.”
“Now that’s cold,” said Filbert. “And by ‘cold’ I mean ‘hot’. But don’t worry, it’s cool. If Dog drops in I’ll just split, ok?”
“Split?” said Hedgehog, who had no idea what Filbert was talking about.
“Hit the road, daddy-o,” said Filbert. “Make tracks. Go on the lam.”
“Dog often visits around this time of day,” said Hare hopefully.
“Whoa, that would be a bummer,” said Filbert, taking another cake. He was still balancing his chair on its back legs. Hare had to admit it was an impressive trick.
“Filbert,” he said, having a sudden idea, “how did you learn to balance so well?”
“Hey, balancing is a real gas,” said Filbert. “It comes natural to fliers like me, you dig?”
“I dig a lot,” said Mole, “but I can’t balance a chair like that, Filbert.”
“No, man, I mean you DIG,” said Filbert. “It’s like…”
“Could you show us how you use your super balance for flying?” asked Hare.
Filbert brightened up. He loved showing off. “You got it, dude,” he said. “Just follow me.”
He led everyone outside Hare’s house in the bottom of the big oak tree, then when he was sure everyone was looking, he scampered up the tree.
“I get about this high, you dig?” called Filbert.
“But when I dig, I get lower,” whispered Mole to Hare. “I don’t understand what he’s…”
“And then I just balance on a branch like this,” called Filbert, balancing on the very end of a small branch. He balanced on one paw.
“Wow,” called Hare, “that’s amazing, Filbert. How long can you balance like that?”
“Hey, it’s no sweat,” yelled Filbert. “I could do this, like, all day, dude.”
“Hey I know what,” said Hare, “we’ll time you. You’ll set a new record!”
“Awesome,” said Filbert. “So, like, start any time, y’know? I’ll just hang loose up here ’til you say I broke the record.”
“OK, you got it,” called Hare. “My clock is inside, Filbert, so we’ll go in and time you. When we come out, you’ve got the record.”
“Cool,” said Filbert.
“Come along, everyone,” said Hare. He ushered everyone back into his living room.
“Hare,” said Raccoon, “I didn’t know you had a clock.”
“I don’t,” said Hare.
“Then how are we going to time Filbert?” asked Hedgehog. “I’m worried we might tell him the wrong time for the record.”
“Oh no,” said Hare, “we’ll get it right.”
“What IS the record?” asked Mole.
“There isn’t one,” said Hare. “I just wanted some peace and quiet. Listening to Filbert for very long makes my ears droop.”
“Oh, I get it,” said Raccoon. “Very clever, Hare. Can I have another tea-cake?”
“Help yourself,” smiled Hare.
