“Bring me some snacks!” yelled Ferret. “And something good to drink!”
“What’s gotten into Ferret this time?” asked Squirrel. “Why can’t he get his own snacks?”
Dog sighed. “It’s not so much what’s gotten into Ferret as what he’s gotten into,” she said. “Did you notice his latest costume?”
“Of course I did,” said Squirrel, “he looks ridiculous. And what’s that thing he’s sitting in?”
“That,” said Dog, “is a genuine Barbie pink Corvette. And Ferret is dressed up, near as I can tell, as Country Club Barbie.”
“What’s that?” asked Raccoon.
“Ferret was playing with Sally’s doll costumes again,” said Dog, “and he found this stuff. And even worse, he was watching TV and says this Barbie character has shows and even a movie.”
“We had an end-of-summer party at Hare’s every year for as long as I can remember,” said Beaver, “and nobody ever yells for somebody else to bring them anything. Why did you even carry Ferret here with that stuff, Dog?”
“How was I supposed to know Ferret was going to act like this? He just asked if he could bring the toy car, and he was already dressed up. He dresses up all the time. It’s not my fault.”
“Waiter! More apple juice! And make it snappy!” yelled Ferret.
“Okay, that’s it,” said Dog. “If I’m starting to get blamed, this has to stop.” She went over to Ferret and poked him with her nose.
“Oh, hi Dog,” said Ferret. “Did you bring my apple juice?”
“I certainly did not,” said Dog, “I brought a message. You’ve got to stop acting like this, Ferret. It’s annoying everyone, and they’re starting to blame me for bringing you to the party.”
“What’s wrong with the way I’m acting? Country Club Barbie does this all the time.”
“You are not Barbie and this is not a country club, whatever that is,” growled Dog.
“A country club is where you sit around and call for waiters to bring you stuff,” explained Ferret, “and they do. I can tell this isn’t one of those, because the waiters around here aren’t any good at all.”
“There aren’t any waiters,” said Dog. “If you want snacks or apple juice, just go get them yourself.”
“Barbie never has to do that,” said Ferret. “At least Country Club Barbie doesn’t. But now that I think of it, Career Barbie usually does. But that show isn’t as nice to watch. Astronaut Barbie is pretty good, but Sally doesn’t have that costume.”
Dog sighed again. “Then why don’t you just be Career Barbie?”
“That wouldn’t make any sense,” said Ferret, “Career Barbie is focused on her job; I don’t think she’d even come to a party like this.”
“How about this,” said Dog, “you take off the costume and get out of that toy car and just be Ferret?”
“Oh don’t be silly, Dog,” said Ferret. “I’m not about to do that. But maybe I can figure something out. You say the problem is calling for service? I think I can fix that. The service around here is really bad anyway.”
“There ISN’T any service around here,” said Dog. “Don’t you get it, Ferret? Everybody. Gets. Their. Own. Snacks.”
“Yes, yes, I get it, I get it,” said Ferret. “Now leave me alone, Dog, I have to check some of the other things I brought with me. They’re in the trunk.” Ferret got out of the genuine Barbie pink Corvette, opened a hatch, and started rummaging.
“Oho!” said Hedgehog, who was sauntering past, “there’s a bit of faulty verisimilitude right there! Everybody knows Corvettes don’t have trunks!”
“Huh?” said Dog.
Ferret, who was now half buried in a pile of other Barbie outfits he’d brought in the Corvette, didn’t say anything.
“Humph,” said Hedgehog, stomping away. “I get worried when toymakers can’t be bothered to get the details right. What’s to become of modelmaking? What’s to become of craftsmanship? Pride of workmanship?” Hedgehog hurried over to Beaver, who would be more likely to enjoy a good complaint session.
Ferret, meanwhile, had found the outfit he wanted and put it on. “Ta daaa!” he said to Dog. “Now everything will be okay! Seeya!” He hurried away in the direction of Hare’s house, where all the snacks were. Dog noticed Raccoon and Ma and Pa Mouse near the Medium Sized Rock in the meadow and went to talk to them. They ended up in a long conversation about cheese with Masie and Hortense the cows, who had been munching on grass nearby. Dog lost track of what was going on with Ferret.
A while later Magpie landed on Masie’s back. “Nice party,” she said. “It was pretty clever of Hare to turn his house into a country club for the day.”
“What?” said Dog, pricking up her ears. “Did you say ‘country club’? Is Ferret causing trouble again?”
“No, no, quite the opposite,” said Magpie. “Ferret is the key to the whole thing. And everybody is delighted!”
“This I have to see,” said Dog, and trotted toward the tree where Hare’s house was. As she got close, Ferret came over.
“Good afternoon Ma’am,” said Ferret. “What can I get for you?”
“Get for me? What are you talking about? And why are you calling me ‘ma’am’?” asked Dog. She looked Ferret up and down, wondering what this new Barbie outfit was. Ferret was carrying a tiny notebook and pen and pretended to write something.
“We have all manner of snacks and drinks,” said Ferret. “Would you like to see a menu?”
“A menu?” said Dog. “What the…Ferret, would you please just explain what you’re up to this time?”
“Oh,” said Ferret, “I forgot you don’t know as much as you should about Barbie World. It wouldn’t hurt to get a little more education, Dog. Watch the Barbie show. Nose around in Sally’s costume box.”
“Ferret…” growled Dog.
“Okay, okay,” said Ferret. “It’s simple. As you can see, I’m not Country Club Barbie any more. Now I’m Waitress Barbie. And can I take your order?”
Just then Otter and Muskrat called “Waiter! Waiter! More apples!”
“Oh, excuse me for just a moment, ma’am,” said Ferret. “I have some other guests to attend to. In the meantime, please have a look at our menu.” He handed Dog a leaf with some pictures of snacks drawn on it.
Dog sighed. “It’s always something,” she said, shaking her head. She went back to talk about some more about cheese. It turned out Masie knew practically everything about cheese.
