1
“That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” said Magpie.
“But maybe it would work,” said Squirrel. “It would be very nice to…”
“No,” said Magpie, “it wouldn’t. The whole thing is more complicated than you realize. And besides, you can get away with taking things that are already thrown out, but now you’re talking about taking things that aren’t thrown out at all. They’re going to come looking for their stuff, Raccoon.”
“They’ll never come looking in the forest,” said Raccoon. “They’ll only think to look in different parts of the town.”
“And what about just following the big wire?” asked Magpie. “You don’t need to have a nose like Dog to do that.”
“That’s a good idea,” said Hare, “let’s ask Dog. She knows the people better than anybody.”
“Hmm?” said Dog, who had been dozing. “Ask me about what?”
“About my great idea,” said Raccoon. “Now that it’s spring, the people in town are doing some new things. I was hiding in a bush in the park when some people walked right past and one of the little ones dropped something. They rushed off, probably to get a new one, so I tried the thing and it was the best food ever! It was cold and so delicious. I found out it’s called ‘ice cream.’ And then I found out that the people keep it in a special machine called a ‘freezer.’ That keeps it cold so it doesn’t melt until they’re ready to eat it. And then I found out that a ‘freezer’ is just a box that has a long wire that makes it work.”
“Hmmm,” said Dog, “you’re right about all of that, Raccoon. Ice cream is my favorite too. It comes in different flavors, you know. But how did you find out all about ice cream?”
“Well…” said Raccoon, taking a deep breath.
“It’s all my fault,” said Magpie, burying her face in her wing. “Raccoon said she’d gotten a taste of this new stuff by accident, and she wanted to know all about it. So I told her everything I knew. I didn’t know this crazy idea was going to come next.”
“That’s what we want to ask you about, Dog,” said Hare. “Raccoon wants to get a freezer right here in the forest, and fill it with ice cream so any of us can have some.”
Dog looked from Hare to Magpie to Raccoon. She blinked. She tipped her head to one side, the way she always did when she was thinking about something.
“I think you could probably do it,” said Dog, “except for the part about the wire. Freezers have these wires that stick to a thing in a wall, and that makes them work. I don’t know much about it, but I’ve seen what happens when you trip over the wire so it comes unstuck from the thing in the wall. The freezer stops humming. It makes a humming noise when it’s working, you know. And the people jump up and stick the wire back into the thing in the wall, and then the freezer hums again.”
“See?” said Raccoon, “I said it would work!”
2
“There aren’t any things in the forest to stick the wire into,” said Dog. “They’re only in the people’s houses. Where the freezers are.”
“Well that’s all taken care of in my plan,” said Raccoon. We just need a long, long wire. We sneak into town and stick it into a wall somewhere, and then our freezer will work.”
“But we don’t have a freezer,” said Dog. “And we don’t have a long, long wire, either. And it seems to me,” she went on, “that we don’t have any ice cream either.”
“I know exactly where to get those things,” said Raccoon proudly. “Most of them, anyway. At least some of them.”
“Which ones?” asked Magpie.
“I know where to get a freezer,” said Raccoon proudly, “and it’s already full of ice cream.”
“Wait a minute,” said Dog, “I’ve only seen freezers in houses, and I think they have them in markets too. You can’t just…”
“Exactly!” shouted Raccoon, “the little market where I shop for all my special treats! I watched through the window and there’s a freezer in there. I’m sure of it — I saw three little people take things out of it, and when they came outside I could tell by the smell that they had ice cream. All we need to do…”
“You want to sneak inside a market and steal a whole freezer full of ice cream?” said Dog, astonished. “You can’t do that.”
“Sure I can,” said Raccoon. “I have a plan.”
“It’ll never work,” said Dog, shaking her head. “First of all they’d see you come in and chase you away. And even if you could sneak in, freezers are bigger than you. They’re even bigger than me. How are you going to carry it?”
“Raccoon,” said Hare, who was beginning to get worried about this plan, “even if you sneak in, and even if you could carry the freezer, how are you going to sneak back out again?”
Raccoon shivered in excitement. “I’ve figured it all out, I told you,” she said. “When I was watching through the window, one of the people who’s always in the store…”
“That’s because they ‘work there,’” said Magpie, rolling her eyes.
“Yes, yes,” said Raccoon, “let me explain. One of those people moved the ice cream freezer from one place to another. And he just pushed it. It has…what do you call them…wheels!”
“So your plan,” said Dog, “is to sneak inside a market and push a whole freezer outside, down the road, and into the forest without any of the people seeing you.”
“Exactly!” shouted Raccoon, who was getting even more excited.
“What about the wire?” asked Magpie.
“What wire?” asked Raccoon.
3
“The long, long wire you need to make the freezer work!” said Magpie.
“Oh, that,” said Raccoon. “We just find one, and then we find a thing in a wall that’s out of the way somewhere, and we make it stick, and…um…”
“Just find one?” asked Dog. “I live with some people, and I’ve never seen one of those wires long enough to reach into the forest. The longest ones they have just reach to the other side of a room, Raccoon.”
“Nonsense,” said Raccoon. “What about those big metal towers on the other side of the forest? There are big wires on top of those, and they stretch off into…well I don’t know where they go, but they’re longer than we’d need to reach into the forest.”
“Those,” said Magpie, “are the wrong sort of wires.”
“How do you know?” asked Raccoon.
“They just are,” said Magpie. “Besides, they’re way up on top of those towers that are higher than the trees. How would you get one?”
“I would just ask one of my friends who has wings to help me,” said Raccoon.
“I’ve perched on wires on wooden poles in the town,” said Magpie, “and they don’t come off. That’s why we birds like to perch on them; they’re better than tree branches. they’re strong and they never break. You can’t just take one.”
“I bet you could think of a way, Magpie,” said Raccoon. “You’re always telling us how much you know about the people and the town.”
“I’m telling you,” said Magpie, “those wires don’t come off, and anyway I don’t think they’re the same sort of wires as in the peoples’ houses. They’re too big and thick.”
“Excuse me,” said Beaver, who had been listening. “Raccoon, I think you’re making this too complicated. What do you really want?”
“Er…ice cream, of course,” said Raccoon.
“In that case,” said Beaver, “I can think of another way to get some, without any wires or freezers or any of that.”
“What’s your idea?” asked Hare.
“I have a book in my library,” said Beaver, “that is called a cook-book. It tells how to make different kinds of foods. And one of the things it tells about is ice cream.”
“Now we’re supposed to make our own ice cream?” said Raccoon. “That sounds even more complicated, Beaver.”
Beaver raised a paw for quiet. “Did I say anything about making our own ice cream?” he asked. “No,” he said, answering his own question. “I’m simply pointing out that I know how ice cream is made. And when you know how something is made, sometimes that tells you something about where it’s made.”
4
“I don’t care about making it,” said Dog, putting her head down to take another nap. “If anyone gets some, wake me up because I only care about eating it.”
“Do you all remember,” said Beaver, “that time Bear came to visit, when it was so cold?”
“Yes,” said Hare, “we had to cover him up with hay when he fell asleep in the barn, after eating all the groceries.”
“I know about the barn,” said Dog, opening one eye. “In the summer my family takes me there and we eat ice cream.”
“Just as I thought,” said Beaver proudly. “Maisy and Hortense live in that barn, and where there are cows, there is milk and cream. My cook-book says you need those to make ice cream.”
“So your idea is to go back to the barn?” asked Raccoon doubtfully.
“That’s where they make ice cream,” said Beaver, “it’s not too far away, and it’s also not in the middle of the town, so there won’t be any pushing freezers down the street in broad daylight.”
“I was going to do it at night,” grumbled Raccoon.
“I think this plan might work,” said Magpie. “We should go visit and ask Maisy and Hortense about the ice cream. Maybe my friend Oliver too; he probably knows everything about that place.”
“Who is Oliver?” asked Hare.
“Oliver is a barn owl,” said Magpie, “and that’s his barn.”
Even Raccoon finally agreed that Beaver’s idea was a good one, so they set off for the barn. Their path led them right past Dog’s house, so she excused herself and went home for dinner. When they arrived at the barn, Hortense explained that the ice cream was made in a little room at the side of the barn, and as far as she knew that’s where it was kept, too. Raccoon found the room and before long had figured out how to open the door. Just inside, humming away, was a freezer.
“This one doesn’t have wheels,” said Hare.
“And it’s bigger than the one in the market, too,” said Raccoon, “but look, I can open it anyway.” Raccoon opened the top of the freezer and looked in. It was full of cardboard buckets. “It smells like a LOT of ice cream!” said Raccoon happily.
“Everybody just wait one minute,” squawked Magpie. “I’ve explained this before, but you lot always forget so I’ll say it again. If you don’t want the freezer and the room to be locked up tight the next time you visit, take one bucket of ice cream. Be very careful not to make a mess or even leave a single footprint. Then take the bucket a long way away before you open it, because that IS going to make a mess.”
“Ok, ok,” said Raccoon, “but now look who’s making it complicated.”
“It’s for your own good,” said Magpie. “Maybe nobody will notice if just one bucket disappears now and then, with no mess. They’ll just think they counted wrong. But if you make a mess, they’ll know exactly what you did and they’ll make sure you can’t get any more ice cream.”
5
They did exactly as Magpie said, and everybody had some ice cream — but back in the forest, nowhere near the barn. “You were right about ice cream, Raccoon,” said Fox. “We should go back sometime soon and get some more.”
“Let’s go back every day!” said Raccoon.
“NO!” shouted Magpie. “A missing bucket of ice cream every day is sure to be noticed. You should just go back once a month, Raccoon.”
Raccoon argued that wasn’t enough, and they finally decided to visit the ice cream freezer in the barn once every week, and ask the residents of the barn to tell them if the people started talking about missing ice cream. Everyone felt sleepy after eating all the ice cream, so they all headed home.
Hare and Hedgehog were heading home down the same path — they were neighbors — and as they walked, Hare said “Ice cream is my new favorite. Raccoon has good ideas.”
“Raccoon does have good ideas,” said Hedgehog. “But they’re always mixed in with all those bad ones.” They laughed so much that Squirrel, who was high above them in the treetops, thought for a moment that it was Otter and Muskrat down there giggling to each other.
