My humans make up silly storiesjust to help them fret and worry;They don’t listen when I say“Come on outside, relax and play.”It’s like they’d rather moan and talkinstead of going for a walk —I have to growl before I’m doneto make those dodos have some fun. -Chocolate Continue reading

I love to play a lot of games:the ones that I invent. When humans dream up other games,they’re seldom what I meant. It seems their one abilityis picking up and tossing. Their games are all “go get this thing,”and THEY do all the bossing. MY games are much more funnerbut they never learn the rules;… Continue reading

I often get excitedwhen I’m out to walk and trotand I meet a stranger dogwhose acquaintance I’ve not got. If they are still a puppythen we both will want to play;older dogs are boring’cause they listen to the “stay.” I know what I’m supposed to do,I just don’t always do it.I might get scolded after,But… Continue reading

I love the leaves in autumn,and also needles (pine).The sniffs are very pleasantand the feel on paws is fine. I’ve noticed that each needleis exactly like a line.You also get some conesfrom the tree that’s labeled pine. There’s a crackpot human notionthat thanks to pines I see;they do a thing with numbersthat they call “geometree.”… Continue reading

To the averagecanine brainit causes neitherstress nor strain to outsmart humansonce again;it’s pretty easy,that is plain. I hear the humansbrag and boastabout their brain size;it’s their most oft-spoken claimbecause it’s s’posedto mean they’re smartand you are toast. But we just laugh,my pals and me,because we’re smartenough to see brain size is nota kibble scoop;it’s them,… Continue reading

Full-body massagemakes me give a big wag.I sprawl on my carpet(a thick comfy shag)and my staff of pet humanswith their pampering whirlmeans I feel like thehappiest pup in the world. -Chocolate Continue reading

I get lotsof kinds of treatswhen all I say is “please.” One of my all-timefavorites isa lovely piece of cheese. Cheese is just the rightest stuffit’s chewyand has salt. It might just bethat rarest thing:a treat without a fault. -Chocolate Continue reading

This is a noteto my four-legged pals:When you talk with your humans,beware! Their idea of “right now”is pathetically thinand they only know thingsthat are there. I think it’s becausealthough senses they haveit’s their eyesthey rely on the most. “Out of sight out of mind”is a thing that they say,and that mind, if it’s there,is a… Continue reading

I feel sorry for humans;they really can’t smellwith their nosesso far from the ground. And that means they neverknow what’s going onor which dogs and catscame around. I could tell them,I guesswhen the most recent squirrelwas trespassing right in my yard, But it’s such a big botherteaching them how to speak.Even listening, for themis quite… Continue reading

This morning it was super coldwhen I went out on my patrol.The air was icy; made me coughHumans’ tails? They froze them off! -Chocolate Continue reading