Their rules are pedantic,Their feet are gigantic.Among their many epic fails,They’ve somehow gone and lost their tails. For all their talk of giant brainsIt’s hard to teach them woofs or yelpsIt’s a wonder how they still remain;That’s why they really need my help. In spite of what I once intendedI found some I’ve close-befriended;We like… Continue reading

“Patience,” my humans will tell me,But I find that I do not agree.If you ever collect your own humans,Their slowness is what you will see. They insist they must put their big coats on —It’s their fault they have no fur at all.Those humans can’t keep track of their items;They just throw away tennis balls!… Continue reading

My favorite walks are in the woodsBut I do get so excited;squirrels, chipmunks, birds, and leaves:just some of what I’ve sighted. Trails feel better to my feetthan stupid sidewalks do.They’re one of humans’ worst ideasin my waggy view. The sniffs and soundsare extra good.I love my walksinto the woods. -Chocolate Continue reading

Getting rained on is not my thing;I don’t like getting wet —I don’t enjoy baths much either.I’m told I can swim but I haven’t tried yet.  The problem is that once I’m wetI just don’t like my choices.It’s shaking, towels, or those hot air thingswith such annoying voices.  On rainy days I mostly stay insideand listen to… Continue reading

My humans make up silly storiesjust to help them fret and worry;They don’t listen when I say“Come on outside, relax and play.”It’s like they’d rather moan and talkinstead of going for a walk —I have to growl before I’m doneto make those dodos have some fun. -Chocolate Continue reading

I love to play a lot of games:the ones that I invent. When humans dream up other games,they’re seldom what I meant. It seems their one abilityis picking up and tossing. Their games are all “go get this thing,”and THEY do all the bossing. MY games are much more funnerbut they never learn the rules;… Continue reading

I often get excitedwhen I’m out to walk and trotand I meet a stranger dogwhose acquaintance I’ve not got. If they are still a puppythen we both will want to play;older dogs are boring’cause they listen to the “stay.” I know what I’m supposed to do,I just don’t always do it.I might get scolded after,But… Continue reading

I love the leaves in autumn,and also needles (pine).The sniffs are very pleasantand the feel on paws is fine. I’ve noticed that each needleis exactly like a line.You also get some conesfrom the tree that’s labeled pine. There’s a crackpot human notionthat thanks to pines I see;they do a thing with numbersthat they call “geometree.”… Continue reading

To the averagecanine brainit causes neitherstress nor strain to outsmart humansonce again;it’s pretty easy,that is plain. I hear the humansbrag and boastabout their brain size;it’s their most oft-spoken claimbecause it’s s’posedto mean they’re smartand you are toast. But we just laugh,my pals and me,because we’re smartenough to see brain size is nota kibble scoop;it’s them,… Continue reading

Full-body massagemakes me give a big wag.I sprawl on my carpet(a thick comfy shag)and my staff of pet humanswith their pampering whirlmeans I feel like thehappiest pup in the world. -Chocolate Continue reading