Those stupid birdsare always tweeting,and now we’ve foundthey’re always eating! My humans leavea bunch of seedsfor birds — I guessthat’s what they need. And their feeder thing?It’s in my yard!Those birds ignoreme standing guard! And then they perch there,always eating.And while they eat,It’s nonstop tweeting! -Chocolate Continue reading

My yard had a bird when I trotted out there.I chased it away so my grass could be bare,But a squirrel annoyingly chattered at meAnd it stayed where it was up too high in the tree.So I picked up my toy (I keep one outside)and I flapped it around ’til I could decideif I wanted Continue reading

When I see a good friendon the street (other side)I know enough not torun there to say hi. In between are those thingsthat are loud, fast, and smellyand dangerous, too;they could turn me to jelly. I’ve ridden inside them myselfso I knowthat they’re not really real;they can just stop and go. The humans believethat they Continue reading

Holidays are really keen;Whole family’s home! I got whipped cream!Extra walks! It’s great! I mean,Today is cool but I’m no fool —There could still be sorrow…But there’s leftovers tomorrow! -Chocolate Continue reading

Their rules are pedantic,Their feet are gigantic.Among their many epic fails,They’ve somehow gone and lost their tails. For all their talk of giant brainsIt’s hard to teach them woofs or yelpsIt’s a wonder how they still remain;That’s why they really need my help. In spite of what I once intendedI found some I’ve close-befriended;We like Continue reading

“Patience,” my humans will tell me,But I find that I do not agree.If you ever collect your own humans,Their slowness is what you will see. They insist they must put their big coats on —It’s their fault they have no fur at all.Those humans can’t keep track of their items;They just throw away tennis balls! Continue reading

My favorite walks are in the woodsBut I do get so excited;squirrels, chipmunks, birds, and leaves:just some of what I’ve sighted. Trails feel better to my feetthan stupid sidewalks do.They’re one of humans’ worst ideasin my waggy view. The sniffs and soundsare extra good.I love my walksinto the woods. -Chocolate Continue reading

Getting rained on is not my thing;I don’t like getting wet —I don’t enjoy baths much either.I’m told I can swim but I haven’t tried yet.  The problem is that once I’m wetI just don’t like my choices.It’s shaking, towels, or those hot air thingswith such annoying voices.  On rainy days I mostly stay insideand listen to Continue reading

My humans make up silly storiesjust to help them fret and worry;They don’t listen when I say“Come on outside, relax and play.”It’s like they’d rather moan and talkinstead of going for a walk —I have to growl before I’m doneto make those dodos have some fun. -Chocolate Continue reading

I love to play a lot of games:the ones that I invent. When humans dream up other games,they’re seldom what I meant. It seems their one abilityis picking up and tossing. Their games are all “go get this thing,”and THEY do all the bossing. MY games are much more funnerbut they never learn the rules; Continue reading