Pylimitics

"Simplicity" rearranged


Chocolatiana

  • All Wet

    Humans never shake themselves!They never even try. What I can’t figure out is this:How do they get dry? -Chocolate Continue reading

  • They Try

    Although my friends will argueI say humans can be taught.It’s taken time and patiencebut mine do what they ought. They try their best(most of the time)to do their latest task.And since they’re not as smart as usThat’s all that we can ask. They can’t, of course,sniff anything; They never win a race.But I don’t mind their… Continue reading

  • The Question of Treats

    My sister and I disagree about treats.I’m always readyto have something yummy, But she saysI shouldn’t be bossed bymy tummy. “How,” I inquire, “can youturn down free food?”She snorts and says sometimesshe’s not in the mood.  She’s older than meSo maybe she’s smarter…But come on, turn down crunchies?!?That’s just a non-starter. -Chocolate Continue reading

  • Just one thing

    I’m a runner,I’m a jumper,I’m a wagger;tail thumper I like things to happen snappy.When they doI’m very happy. Only one thingbugs me: waiting.That’s the only thingI’m hating. Besides that stupid squirrel; I’ll catch him one of these days.  -Chocolate Continue reading

  • Naps

    Naps are one of my favorite things;I take them whenever I canAnd that really means whenever I want‘cause I am a dog (not a man). A nice soft place is the first thing I needAnd quiet is good as well.I don’t mind at all if a pillow’s not cleanAnd I don’t care one bit how… Continue reading

  • Morning Dog

    I’m a morning dogand I get up at six.My humans do grumblebut I have my tricks. A pat on the earand a lick on the feetwhen they try to pretendthat they still are asleep. But it’s time to get up!Take me out; that’s my goal.And while I’m outside,Breakfast please! In my bowl! When I’ve run… Continue reading

  • Slowness personified

    I don’t want to saythat my humans are slow,but so many thingsthey just don’t seem to know. Things that are clearto my sister and meto the humans are just one big mystery. Could it be dueto their smallness of nose,or their miniature ears,Or no tails, do you ‘spose? -Chocolate Continue reading

  • Comedian

    There was stuff in my yardand I rolled in it good.A sniffer joke good for a laugh. But while I was yukkingit up with my palsI got captured and put in a bath. Everybody watch out because humans are denseYou can’t count on them havinga humorous sense!  -Chocolate Continue reading

  • Product Review

    Ever since I bought my humansI’m afraid that I’ve been gypped;their sniffers are defective and they cannot hear at all. They’re pretty good at tossingand their thumbs are pretty good,but their thinkers aren’t so thinkyand I worry that they’ll fall. But I guess I’d better keep ‘em‘cause you just can’t trade ‘em in,I’m pretty sure they… Continue reading

  • Stupid Squirrels

    Squirrels annoy us,My sister and me. They trespass our yardand they play in our tree. But pretty soon squirrelswill pay for their crimes, ‘cause we’re practicing.Watch; we will learn how to climb. -Chocolate Continue reading

About Me

I’m Pete Harbeson, a writer located near Boston, Massachusetts. In addition to writing my own content, I’ve learned to translate for my loquacious and opinionated puppy Chocolate. I shouldn’t be surprised, but she mostly speaks in doggerel.