Raccoon was very excited. She had been having whispered conversations with Dog, Magpie, and Beaver all week, and she had disappeared mysteriously for hours at a time recently. Hare could tell there was something she was just bursting to announce when she arrived at his house.
“Have a sandwich?” invited Hare.
“Thanks,” said Raccoon, taking two. “I’ll save these for later, if you don’t mind. Unless you have someplace to wash them?” Raccoon liked cleanliness and preferred to wash everything she ate. In fact, she preferred to wash everything whether she was going to eat it or not. Ma Mouse, who didn’t mind a bit of grime here and there, often said Raccoon was probably “germ-oh-no-bic” or something like that.
“Not at all, Raccoon,” said Hare. “Here’s a plastic bag for you to keep them in.” Nearly everyone in the forest used plastic bags thanks to Magpie and Dog having explained about them.
“Thanks again, Hare” said Raccoon, carefully wrapping her sandwiches. “I have something I’d like to show you. It’s at my house; do you have time to visit?”
“Why not,” said Hare. “Let’s go.”
While they walked, Raccoon couldn’t resist giving Hare some hints about what her news might be. “It all started when I was in the town one day,” she said. “I was in the back of the market where they leave out food for me.”
“I’m not sure they mean it’s just for you, Raccoon,” said Hare, who knew how to read a few words including “t-r-a-s-h”.
“Oh, I’m sure it’s for others too,” said Raccoon breezily; “there’s always too much for me anyway. But this one time, late last week, they gave me something else as well.”
“What was it?” asked Hare.
“That’s the surprise I have to show you,” said Raccoon excitedly. “I didn’t even know what it was at first, but Magpie and Dog helped me figure it out, and Beaver helped me carry it home, and Squirrel helped me set it up. And I’m so excited to try it to see if it works!”
Hare was mystified; he couldn’t think what Raccoon’s surprise could be. Something that might work — or might not work — that was big enough to need help bringing home — and that Magpie and Dog had helped figure out. Magpie and Dog knew the most about the humans who lived in the town — Dog lived with some of them, and Magpie was always perching in town to watch and listen. But that didn’t narrow it down very far.
Finally they arrived at Raccoon’s house. When they went in, Raccoon let out a loud “Ta-Daaa!” and pointed to a large machine of some sort that took up most of her living room. Hare had no idea what it might be.
“That’s great, Raccoon!” said Hare. Even if he didn’t know what the machine was, he could tell Raccoon was expecting him to be excited about it. “You say you haven’t tried it yet?”
“Not yet,” said Raccoon, putting down her wrapped sandwiches. “I wanted to be able to show it to someone. Everybody is going to want one!”
Hare thought about Squirrel’s house, which was near the top of a tall tree, and about Ma and Pa Mouse’s little house, which he was quite sure would fit inside Raccoon’s machine instead of the other way around. He thought about his own house, too, and how with a big machine like this he wouldn’t have any room to make sandwiches. Unless…Hare had a new idea. Maybe this was was a sandwich-making machine!
“How do you turn it on?” he asked, finally interested.
“I think,” said Raccoon, “I hold this tube like this, and point it at the floor — pointing it at the floor is very important, Dog said — and then I push this button-thing here.” Raccoon pushed the button on the top of the machine.
Hare was wondering where the sandwiches might come out when the machine started up with an enormous roar, and the hose Raccoon was holding started to whip around the room, taking Raccoon with it.
“Whoa!” cried Raccoon as the hose sucked up her package of sandwiches.
“Yikes!” yelled Hare, ducking for cover as the hose sucked up the flowers from Raccoon’s nicest vase.
“Help!” shouted Raccoon as the hose bucked her off and tried to suck in her tail.
Hare reached out with his big back foot and managed to reach the button Raccoon had pressed to turn the machine on. With a click, the machine’s loud roar died away. Hare helped Raccoon pull the hose off her tail, which seemed no worse for having been sucked in.
“Raccoon,” said Hare, “that wasn’t supposed to happen, was it?”
“No,” said Raccoon, brushing herself off. “That machine is supposed to clean things up. Dog says it’s called a ‘backvroomcleaner’, and it picks up dirt with that hose. I didn’t think it would eat my sandwiches and try to eat my tail. Help me get it out of here.”
Hare helped Raccoon push the machine out of her house and down the path.
“Where are we going with this thing?” asked Hare.
“Back where I found it,” said Raccoon. “I don’t ever want to see it again. I’ll keep my house clean the same way I always have. Those humans in the town are crazy.”
“Maybe,” said Hare slowly, “your backvroom cleaner was in back of the market because it’s broken, Raccoon.”
“Broken?” said Raccoon, surprised.
“Could be,” said Hare. “Sometimes humans do that with broken things. There’s a pile of broken flower pots near one of the gardens I check sometimes.”
“Hmmm,” said Raccoon, thinking about this. “Beaver has a pile of old sticks and branches left over after he gnaws the bark. I’ve mentioned it to him before; they clog up the water and make a terrible mess.”
“I think that’s on purpose,” said Hare. “That’s not a mess; it’s his dam. It makes a pond so he can build his house in the middle.”
“And make us all get soaking wet going through his front hall,” said Raccoon, who thought houses ought to be kept nice and dry, not to mention neat and clean.”
“It’s nice and dry inside though,” said Hare.
“I suppose so,” said Raccoon. “Look, we’re here.”
They had arrived behind the little market near the edge of town. They put down the machine right next to a sign on the back of the building that Hare read slowly: ’t-r-a-s-h’.
“They can have this thing back,” said Raccoon, giving the machine a kick.
“Don’t worry, Raccoon,” said Hare, “my house is on the way, and I have some more sandwiches I can give you.”
“Do you have another plastic bag?” asked Raccoon hopefully.
“Of course I do,” said Hare. “Come on, let’s go.” And Hare and Raccoon went home without a single look behind them.
