Pylimitics

"Simplicity" rearranged


In which Rabbit wears a Mask

Winnie the Pooh was tidying up the pots of honey in his cupboard one day when there came a knock at his door. He stumped over and opened it only to be quite startled by who — or what — was on his doorstep. It was an animal that looked mostly like Rabbit, except for not being Rabbint at all. That is, where Rabbit’s head normally was, this animal’s head was much bigger, very round, and had very small, round ears. Its fur was white, like Rabbit’s, except for large black patches around the eyes. 

“Er…hullo,” said Pooh. “My name is Pooh. Can I help you?”

“Oh Pooh,” said the animal, in Rabbit’s voice. “It works!”

“It does?” said Pooh, just noticing that the animal talked without moving its mouth one bit. 

“Of course it does,” said Rabbit, taking off his panda mask. “My costume, that is. I fooled you, Pooh!”

“You did?” said Pooh, who was beginning to think something was Slightly Missing from this Talk with Rabbit.

“Yes, yes, yes,” said Rabbit, bustling past Pooh into Pooh’s kitchen. It’s October, Pooh, and you know what THAT means.”

“That it’s time for a little something?” said Pooh hopefully, who didn’t think he knew what it meant to be October. “Rabbit, would you like some…”

“No time for that,” interrupted Rabbit. “When it’s October, that means Halloween is coming. And THAT, Pooh, means we Must Get Organdized.”

“Is ‘organdized’ when you put on somebody else’s face, Rabbit?” asked Pooh, waving his paw at Rabbit’s panda mask.

“Organdized, Pooh, is when you make Plans, and then you Check your Calendar, and when it’s the right day for your Plans, well, you…er…you just DO them,” said Rabbit. “And luckily I have Plans for Everyone.”

“Oh,” said Pooh, who had been afraid that was what Rabbit was going to say. “Rabbit, I was just about to have…”

“So come with me, Pooh,” interrupted Rabbit, “the first step was the Test, Pooh. That’s what happened when you opened your door.”

“It was?” said Pooh, who was looking sideways at his honey cupboard.

“Yes,” said Rabbit, “the Test was to see how well my costume works. And the next step is to get everyone together and tell them what the Steps are.”

Pooh thought for a moment. “Rabbit,” he said, “why would you get everyone together just to tell them to all get together?”

Rabbit’s whiskers twitched as he looked at Pooh. Then he shook his ears and said “What you need to do, Pooh, is to come with me Right Now, then we can start getting everyone together.”

Rabbit didn’t wait for Pooh to say he thought he might need a Little Something more than he needed to go with you, Rabbit. He just took Pooh’s paw and pulled him along out the door and down the path to Piglet’s house.

A little while later everyone had Gotten Together in Eeyore’s meadow. It had worked like this: Rabbit and Pooh had gone to Piglet’s house, where Rabbit put on his costume and knocked on Piglet’s door. Piglet had been so surprised to see a panda face on Rabbit’s body that he nearly fell over, so Pooh had hurried to Piglet to reassure him. Then Rabbit Explained to Piglet, and Rabbit, Pooh, and Piglet had gone to Owl’s house, where Rabbit did the whole thing again. It had worked like that at everyone’s house, nearly. Tigger had been visiting at Kanga and baby Roo’s house and he was the one who answered the door when Rabbit knocked, so it hadn’t been quite the same there. But Rabbit recovered from being Bounced Upon, and his costume wasn’t broken, so everything was all right, really.

Rabbit climbed up on a rock, the better to see everyone. That made it easier for everyone to see him, too. “Now, everyone, pay attention please,” began Rabbit. “Halloween is coming, and…”

“Mama, what’s hall weed?” asked Roo, tugging at Kanga.

“It’s ‘Halloween,’ dear,” said Kanga, “and I’m not sure just what it is. Maybe it’s a new animal that’s going to come live here in the Hundred Acre Wood.”

“No, no, that’s not it at all,” said Rabbit, who had heard the whole thing. “Halloween is a day. It’s a special day at the end of October, which is what we’re in right now…”

“I thought we were in Eeyore’s meadow,” whispered Piglet to Pooh.

“We are, Piglet,” Pooh whispered back. “It’s just Rabbit talking. He’ll be done soon and then we’ll go back to my house.”

Rabbit could tell Piglet and Pooh were whispering to each other, but even though he had the best ears in the forest, he couldn’t hear what they were saying. “Everyone please be quiet!” he said. “Halloween is a day at the end of October when everyone wears a costume. Like mine,” he added, waving the panda mask that had fooled at least some of them when he knocked on their doors. “So what we need to do now is to Make a Plan,” he finished.

Rabbit looked around proudly at everyone. “Pooh,” whispered Piglet, “Rabbit looks like he’s waiting for something.”

“I expect it’s probably a carrot,” said Pooh thoughtfully. “But I haven’t any carrots, Piglet, Do you have one?”

“No,” said Piglet sadly. He thought to himself that if only he had thought to bring a carrot, he would gladly give it to Rabbit. And then, he thought, everyone would say “that Piglet is so smart to bring a carrot for Rabbit,” and they would Pat Him On The Back and thank him for being Thoughtful. 

“Any volunteers?” asked Rabbit. 

“Volunteers for what,” said Eeyore, “going to find a carrot?”

Rabbit stared at Eeyore in puzzlement for a moment, then said “No, not to find a carrot, Eeyore. To Make a Plan!”

“What,” said Otter, “is this Plan — er, plan — supposed to plan for. What I mean, Rabbit, is what ‘zactly are you talking about, Rabbit?”

“I’m talking about Halloween and Costumes, of course,” said Rabbit. “If everyone is to have their own Costume by Halloween we’re going to need a Plan.”

Roo, who was nearly sure he’d figured out what Rabbit was talking about and what Costumes were, said “I don’t wanna Plan costume. I wanna Tigger costume!”

“No, no,” said Rabbit, “not a plan costume, a plan so everybody can have a costume. It’s not going to be easy to…”

“Rabbit dear,” said Kanga kindly, “not everyone might want a costume, you know.”

“But without a costume how can you be in the Parade?” asked Rabbit, whose ears were beginning to droop ever so slightly. 

“Now there’s a Parade?” muttered Eeyore. “Probably trample my best thistles, too,” he grumbled, and looked around for some to rescue before they were walked upon by the Parade.

“Rabbit,” said Owl, “you didn’t mention a Parade before. Is this the sort of Parade where there will be giant balloons?”

“Piglet,” said Pooh, remembering the blue balloon he had once borrowed from Christopher Robin, so as to pretend to be a cloud, “I hear my honey pots calling me and I think I should go home and see what they want. Come with me and we’ll have a little something at my house.” He took Piglet’s paw and they turned and walked away toward Pooh’s house. 

“Wait, wait!” cried Rabbit, who was hopping back and forth as everyone began leave, having just remembered Things They Were Supposed To Do and People They Really Should Visit. Before long the only ones left in Eeyore’s meadow were Rabbit and Eeyore, who was munching thistles.

“Not that I care,” said Eeyore between chews, “but which day is it?”

“Which day is what?” asked Rabbit, whose ears were drooping.

“Halloween,” said Eeyore, swishing his tail. “Which day near the end of October is Halloween?”

Rabbit blinked. He looked at Eeyore. Eeyore looked at Rabbit. After the longest time, Rabbit said “I’m not sure, Eeyore.”

Eeyore found Rabbit’s panda mask on the ground and began absentmindedly chewing it. “Well then,” he said, finding the mask tastier then he’d expected. “In that case,” he said, checking to see if the other half of the mask had the same taste. “As I see it,” said he, as the last bit of mask disappeared, “it’s probably not that important anyway,” he concluded, with a swallow. “Besides,” said Eeyore, “don’t really need a costume. I’ll just say I’m Rabbit.” And Eeyore pointed his ears straight up and curled his tail into a sort of ball. 

Rabbit looked at Eeyore. He blinked. The corners of his mouth twitched. Then suddenly Rabbit laughed and laughed, for so long that Eeyore unpointed his ears, uncurled his tail, and went back to his thistles. 

Over the next few days, most everyone in the Hundred Acre Wood had another visit from Rabbit, only this time there was a call through their window “hello, it’s me, I’m Owl,” or “I’m Pooh, just coming for a visit,” and then they would open the door to see Rabbit smiling his widest smile. He was having such a good time that no-one thought to mention to him that if you hear “it’s me, Tigger,” but you hear it in Rabbit’s voice, you don’t for a moment think it’s Tigger. Especially if, by mistake, you’re already Tigger yourself.



About Me

I’m Pete Harbeson, a writer located near Boston, Massachusetts. In addition to writing my own content, I’ve learned to translate for my loquacious and opinionated pup Chocolate. I shouldn’t be surprised, but she mostly speaks in doggerel. You can find her contributions tagged with Chocolatiana.