Winnie-the-Pooh had just stepped outside his front door after breakfast when he saw Otter and Turtle coming up the path toward his house.
“Hullo, Pooh,” called Otter. “You’re just the bear we need.”
“Good morning,” said Turtle, “I wonder, Pooh, if you could help us with something?”
“Hullo Otter, hullo Turtle,” said Pooh. “I was just going to visit Piglet. Can I help you along the way?”
Otter and Turtle looked at each other, then nodded. “Don’t see why not,” said Otter. “Let’s start walking to Piglet’s house and we’ll explain.”
“Well,” said Pooh, “is it a short explanation? Because Piglet lives very close by, you know.”
“Here’s where we’re stuck,” said Turtle. “I’m particularly fond of old words. Otter likes words that hardly anybody knows…”
“Except for me,” said Otter.
“Yes, hardly anybody except for him,” added Turtle. “And what has us all quackery-wavery is this: which is better?”
“‘Quackery-wavery’?” said Pooh.
“On the fence,” explained Turtle. “Uncertain. Can’t decide. That’s why we need someone else…”
“A neutral third party…” said Otter helpfully.
“…to settle the question.” finished Turtle.
“But…” said Pooh, who was feeling a bit quackery-wavery himself.
“It all started when I visited Otter this morning…” said Turtle, not stopping to listen to Pooh.
“…and outside my house,” said Otter, who was helping Turtle not listen, “there was a pile of old fish bones that I hadn’t cleaned up yet, it was quite feculent.”
“Er…” said Pooh.
“Rammish, I said,” explained Turtle. “The pile was rammish, and I said so. Whereupon Otter naggled his head and that got my dander up.”
“It wasn’t really naggling,” said Otter, “it was simply the belated realization that the odor was more oppressive than I had realized.”
“Well I think…” said Pooh, trying again.
“Then this gollumpus here,” said Turtle, poking Otter in the ribs, “tried to change the subject…”
“…because I thought we should employ bacciferous vegetation to remedy the situation…” said Otter.
“…and I said ‘fine words butter no parsnips’…” said Turtle.
“…then I said we should get to it, as I was starting to experience a touch of kakorrhaphiophobia.” said Otter.
Otter and Turtle stopped and looked at Pooh. “And now you’ve heard the problem…” said Otter.
“What do you say?” asked Turtle.
Pooh looked around. “I say…here’s Piglet!” he said happily. “Hullo, Piglet! We were just coming to see you, and there you are.”
“Hello Pooh, and Otter and Turtle,” said Piglet. “Were you all talking about something just now?”
“Oh yes,” said Pooh, “something. But Piglet, we should go see Eeyore and have a game of poohsticks because I’ve had a New Idea about choosing the best sticks.”
“That sounds like a fine idea, Pooh,” said Piglet. “Turtle, Otter, are you coming too?”
“What are poohsticks?” asked Otter.
“It would take too long to explain,” explained Pooh. “You should just come and play.”
Otter and Turtle looked at each other. “Let’s stop shilly-shallying then,” said Turtle.
“A ratiocinate rejoinder!”said Otter.
And everyone went to find Eeyore and play poohsticks.
