Otter and Muskrat were showing off their new hobby to everyone. It was a little raft, and they were sailing it around Beaver’s pond.
“Ahoy!” called Otter to everyone gathered on the shore. “Avast! Keelhaul! Six points off the starboard bow!”
“What’s he talking about?” asked Squirrel.
“He’s just yelling all the sailing words he can think of,” said Magpie. “None of it means anything. Except maybe ‘ahoy’.”
“What does ‘ahoy’ mean?” asked one of the Mouse children.
“I think it means ‘hello’, but only when you’re on a boat,” said Ma Mouse.
“You’re right,” said Magpie. “But nobody really says ‘ahoy.’ Not even anybody on boats. That’s what the Seagulls tell me.”
“The Seagulls?” asked Squirrel.
“My friends from the seacoast,” said Magpie, “Janice and Bugsy Seagull. They fly into town sometimes, and I’ve visited them at their place too. It’s right near the beach, and they know all about boats.”
There was a new cry from the pond as Muskrat shouted to Otter “Shoal! Bear off! Bear off, Otter!”
The raft bumped into a rock and Muskrat and Otter fell into the water. They came up sputtering and bounced back up onto the raft.
“Oh dear,” said Hedgehog, “is it a fight? Are Otter and Muskrat fighting?”
“Nope,” said Magpie, whose eyes could see much farther. “They’re giggling. You know Otter and Muskrat.”
“Hmph,” said Porcupine, who didn’t approve of silliness, “those two are never serious. They can’t bear up under any sort of…well, anything. They’re always laughing things off.”
“What’s wrong with laughing things off?” asked Hare.
“They ought to just bear down and get things done,” humphed Porcupine.”
“Speaking of bears,” said Owl, “there’s Bear, down from his mountain for a visit.”
“Hello, Bear!” said everyone.
“Good afternoon,” said Bear. “Nice to see you. I was ambling along a trail and just thought it would be nice to see my friends, so instead of bearing left, I decided to bear right, keep going, and here I am.”
“Mama,” said one of the Mouse children, “why are there so many bears today?”
“No dear,” said Ma Mouse, “there’s only one. Bear just came for a visit.”
“Hello, little mouse,” said Bear. “Would you like to sit way up high on my head?
“Yes, please,” said the little mouse. Ma and Pa Mouse were always careful to teach their children good manners.
Bear held out an enormous paw and the little mouse hopped on. Then Bear lifted her up next to his ear, and the mouse hopped onto Bear’s head.
“Mama, Mama, I can see everything from way up here!” shouted the mouse.
“That’s nice, dear,” said Ma Mouse. “Don’t fall.”
“Mama,” said the little mouse, “I’m a mouse. Even if I fall, my weight and specific gravity suggest that it wouldn’t bother me at all. The ratio between my surface area and volume is too small, and I don’t have enough mass to build up the energy it would take to cause any damage. Mrs. Wren explained about it at school. She says it’s the ‘square-cube law.’”
“Well, we should always obey the law,” said Ma Mouse.
“But what about the bears?” asked the little one.
“Do you see more bears from up there?” asked Hare.
“I don’t see any bears besides Bear,” said the mouse, “I was talking about all the bears I heard.” The little mouse was clearly getting a bit frustrated with how dense the adults were. She was not the first one to arrive at this opinion.
“Aha,” said Hare, “now I know what you mean. Muskrat told Otter to ‘bear off,’ Porcupine said that Muskrat and Otter can’t bear up and they ought to bear down, Bear decided to bear right when he could bear left instead, and then, of course, there’s Bear.”
Bear held up an enormous paw and looked at it. “Yes,” he said, “I believe you’re right, Hare. There is Bear. I mean, there is me.”
“So if I can hear the bears, why can’t I see them?” asked the mouse, who had started tapping her foot impatiently, which made Bear’s ear twitch because it tickled.
“Hmm,” said Hare, “I think I’ll be able to answer that; just give me a moment to get my bearings.”
“This is really unbearable, I’m worried about them,” said Hedgehog, who was still watching Otter and Muskrat. Now they were trying to paddle their raft, but they were each paddling in different directions so the raft just started to spin. Then they decided it was more fun that way, so they were trying to make it spin as fast as they could.
“Just bear in mind,” said Porcupine to Hedgehog, “those two are silly all the time, but they never seem to suffer any consequences. I’ve been watching them for years, and I can bear witness to it.”
“I don’t see how their lucky escapes in the past have any bearing on this latest fiasco,” said Owl
Porcupine sighed. “The way those two carry on bears heavily on me,” she said.
“It’s not so bad, Porcupine,” said Squirrel, “just bear with them.”
“If,” said Bear, “it’s not too much to bear.”
