“It was pretty frightening,” said Raccoon. “He had me believing I’d done something wrong, and that there was something bad happening at the party in the barn.”
“Me too,” said Hare. “I even started thinking he was a policeman.”
“And that whistle,” said Raccoon with a shudder.
“What about the whistle?” asked Squirrel.
“It was…” began Hare.
“Dirty,” finished Raccoon.
“He carries a dirty whistle around in the forest?” said Squirrel, astonished.
“That’s about the size of it,” said Hare. “I just wish he’d find out whatever he’s trying to, and go back where he came from.”
“You say,” said Dog thoughtfully, “that he’s a ferret? And he first came by a few days ago?”
“Yup,” said Hare.
“And he’s wearing a hat and an old-fashioned raincoat?”
“And they fit him,” said Raccoon, “even though he’s pretty small. Like, you know, a ferret.”
“Hmmm,” said Dog. Just then there was a knock on the door. Something about it gave everyone in Hare’s living room a bad feeling. Except Dog; she didn’t seem bothered at all.
“I’ll get the door, Hare,” she said. “I bet it’s him; I can tell because of the way you’re all reacting to a normal, every-day knock.
“Oh dear,” said Hare, wringing his paws.
Dog trotted to the door and opened it. It was Ferret, still wearing his old-fashioned hat and raincoat. Instead of acting the way he usually did, though, he took a half-step back when he saw Dog.
“Aha, I thought it might be you,” said Dog, opening the door wider. “Come on in, Fluffy.”
“I asked you not to call me that,” muttered Ferret on the way in.
“It’s your name, isn’t it?” grinned Dog.
Ferret noticed how all the others were shrinking away from him. “Oh never mind all that,” he said. “I quit. Anyway I don’t know any more smooth wise-guy talk. At least I won’t until Thursday.”
“Oh, what happens on Thursday, Ferret?” asked Dog in the sort of way you ask a question when you already know the answer.
“It’s just a scheduling thing,” said Ferret. “Doesn’t matter.”
“I know all about Thursday,” said Dog. Turning to everyone, she said “Thursday evening there’s a special TV show at my house. Some people on the show talk about an old movie, and then they show it. Lately they’ve been showing detective movies from a long time ago. The detectives usually wear hats and trench coats like the ones Ferret has.”
Ferret fidgeted, looking uncomfortable.
“What does a TV show at your house have to do with Ferret?” asked Hare.
“Oh, not much,” said Dog, obviously enjoying herself. “Except that Ferret is from my house too.”
“You live in Dog’s house?” said Raccoon. “How come we’ve never heard of you?”
“I—I just moved in,” said Ferret.
“Ferret — or ‘Fluffy’, as my family calls him,” said Dog, “is a new pet in our house. Little Sally — one of my people — thinks he’s cute. Andy — he’s my favorite person — explained the whole thing. And by the way, Ferret, put the hat and coat back with Sally’s dolls before she misses them. Remember I was explaining the Pet Rules to you? That’s number five.”
“OK,” said Ferret. “Anyway, everybody, I was sleeping in my room — I have my own room, you know — and somebody turned on that TV thing. It woke me up, and I watched the whole movie. I really liked it. It was about some fake bird or something.”
“You could have just come over and introduced yourself and told us about the movie,” said Hare. “You didn’t have to scare everybody.”
“Sorry,” said Ferret. “I didn’t mean to scare anybody. I didn’t think you’d be scared. I don’t have much experience in the Outside World.”
“What I want to know,” said Raccoon, “is who hired you to be a detective, Ferret?”
Ferret shuffled his feet. “Nobody,” he said, “I just made that up to be more like the detective in the movie.”
“And nothing bad happened at the party?” said Squirrel.
“Probably not,” said Ferret. “It was just the only thing I could think of to pretend to investigate. Besides, I wasn’t invited.”
“You weren’t invited because you hadn’t moved in yet,” said Dog. “I would have taken you to the party if you’d arrived by then, Ferret.”
“You would?” said Ferret. “You’re not mad at me for making Sally like me better?”
“I told you before,” said Dog, “when you’re a pet, you’re in control of a whole household. What people think is up to us. You have responsibilities now, Ferret; you can’t just think everything is all about you any more.”
“But everything IS about me,” said Ferret. “My staff…”
“Your family,” corrected Dog.
“Right,” said Ferret, “they gave me my own room, and they bought that TV for me, and everything I like to eat, and Sally plays with me…”
“The TV was already there,” said Dog, “but it’s nice that you enjoy it. I’ve never been able to get very interested in it, to be honest. But being part of a family is not just about the rewards, Ferret.”
“But doesn’t arriving at this station in life mean that I’m smarter and more attractive than almost anybody?” asked Ferret. “Isn’t it a meritocracy?”
“Not exactly,” said Dog. “We get the rewards, but it’s up to us to be in charge, Ferret. We can’t just loll around and enjoy ourselves all the time.”
“We can’t?” asked Ferret.
Dog shook her head. “We have to be on the job 24-7, Ferret,” she said. “Goes with the territory.”
“Dog,” said Hare, “I never knew the kind of stress you have to cope with every day.”
Dog wagged her tail. “You get used to it,” she said. “And like Ferret says, there are rewards too. But Ferret and I should be getting back. We’ll see you all tomorrow. Don’t forget the coat and hat, Ferret.”
Everybody said goodby to Dog and Ferret. Hare watched them trot down the path, Ferret riding on Dog’s back. “I’m not sure I’d want all that responsibility,” he said.
“Me neither,” said Squirrel. “Sure, they can have almost anything they want, but when would they have time to enjoy it?”
“Exactly,” said Raccoon. “I mean, I can already do whatever I want, and I don’t have to worry about how it affects anybody else. What if I was laying in bed and somebody on my staff — I mean, family — wanted to lie down too, but there wasn’t enough room? I’d have to figure out a…what to call it…a layoff, I guess. I’d feel guilty.”
Hare, Squirrel, and Raccoon nodded to each other, then closed the door. “I’m just wondering about one thing,” said Hare, offering the plate of tea-cakes to the others. “What’s Ferret going to see in next Thursday’s movie?”
