Keep this strictly secretbut my latest trick is reading. The human stuff is what I mean;its boringness? Exceeding! They go on and on (and on)their logic is precarious, It’s sad they waste their time that waybut also it’s hilarious. Their opinion of themselves is high;they find themselves astute. So I’m not going to tell themthat… Continue reading

If you notice When I’m chewin’,  Dental health isWhat I’m doin’. Every day I have a chew;That’s why my teeth all look brand new. My family tells me now and thenI’ve chewed what’s theirs, and don’t again. I only listen when I please;I’m watching out for cavities! -Chocolate Continue reading

Long ago, as a little pupthe humans I knew were jerks.Since then I’ve gotten better ones;our relationship? It works. If you’re a tailed readerwith bad humans, do not worry.There are better ones aroundand you can change your story.  Other dogs have come to me.To them I have explained:Don’t settle for any old humans;Find the ones… Continue reading

I lounge on my grass;I relax and I grinuntil Hayley (my sister)says “time to go in.” When Hayley calls humanssoon one of them comes,and opens the doorwith those useful things — thumbs! Those thumbs are a clever idea;can’t be beatfor scratching our earsand feeding us treats.  At breakfast and dinnerHuman thumbs grant our wishesby helping… Continue reading

Humans simply talk to much.That is my contention.I think that’s why it’s hard for themto offer close attention. I try to give them infothat I’ve sniffed or that I’ve heardBut they’re just on to something elseWhile spouting stupid words.  If we lived in the wilderness(there’s something called a “bear”),They’d have to learn to listen up.I’d… Continue reading

I love breakfasts! I love lunchies!Pairing roasted chickenwith yummy toasted crunchies. There’s more that I could say, but now I gotta goTalking about deliciousnessHas given me the munchies. -Chocolate Continue reading

My sister Hayley won’t abidesidewalk users — either side.From the window seat she likes,She shouts at scooters, walkers, bikes. I don’t care as much as her;But interlopers what gots fur(like squirrels and those rabbit blokes?)They get my goat; I chase those folks.  We protect our placeso wellOur human friends can never tell  How close they cometo… Continue reading

My humans use a word sometimesthat bothers me. I’ll tell it:The word is “no.” They like it so;They sometimes even yell it!  The word’s supposed to mean to stopOr stay away or quietThey’re never sure;They can’t decide.So usually I don’t buy it.  It all goes back to their beliefthat they’re the boss of me.That isn’t soat… Continue reading

I feel sorry for my human friends;poor guys are simply too tall. Noses so highup there in the skyare just no use at all. -Chocolate Continue reading

I’m sorry to have to say this to youbut there might have been problemsat some random zoo. The problems with humanshave not been abatedso squirrels and humans?They must be related! You know about squirrels;each one is a dope.And humans, it seems,can’t learn to say “nope.” When they’re given a choicebetween dopey and sillyI’ve seen them… Continue reading