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Slowness personified
I don’t want to saythat my humans are slow,but so many thingsthey just don’t seem to know. Things that are clearto my sister and meto the humans are just one big mystery. Could it be dueto their smallness of nose,or their miniature ears,Or no tails, do you ‘spose? -Chocolate Continue reading
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Wordmakers
In England (at least), someone who designs crossword puzzles is called a “crossword setter.” There was one crossword setter — you can find his work in the Guardian newspaper online — who goes by two names. His given name is “Donald Putnam”, and he created puzzles called quiptic crosswords. According to the newspaper, that’s “a… Continue reading
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Karen Spärk Jones
Have you ever wondered how search engines work? Beyond just “make a list of all the words on all the websites,” I mean. The technical term for that “list of all the words on all the websites” is the “bag-of-words model.” No, really, that’s what it’s called. And the bag-of-words model doesn’t work very well… Continue reading
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August 26
Today is the anniversary of the adoption of the nineteenth amendment to the US Constitution. It’s usually described as “granting women the right to vote,” but the language itself is slightly different; it prohibits federal and state governments from denying the right to vote on the basis of sex. The US Constitution is actually a… Continue reading
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Comedian
There was stuff in my yardand I rolled in it good.A sniffer joke good for a laugh. But while I was yukkingit up with my palsI got captured and put in a bath. Everybody watch out because humans are denseYou can’t count on them havinga humorous sense! -Chocolate Continue reading
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Product Review
Ever since I bought my humansI’m afraid that I’ve been gypped;their sniffers are defective and they cannot hear at all. They’re pretty good at tossingand their thumbs are pretty good,but their thinkers aren’t so thinkyand I worry that they’ll fall. But I guess I’d better keep ‘em‘cause you just can’t trade ‘em in,I’m pretty sure they… Continue reading
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Stupid Squirrels
Squirrels annoy us,My sister and me. They trespass our yardand they play in our tree. But pretty soon squirrelswill pay for their crimes, ‘cause we’re practicing.Watch; we will learn how to climb. -Chocolate Continue reading
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Cute, up to a point
Humans are cutewhen they bow to our wishes, opening doorsand filling our dishes. But whenever they step beyondtreats, toys and food,Those tall dopes can put me right into a mood. I try to correct them,And lecture them, too,but they’re dense;my instructions don’t always get through. They yell No! and Stop!and among their bad habitsIs thinking they’ll stop… Continue reading
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Gobsmacked
It’s flabbergasting how you can be metagrobolized by “flummox,” flummoxed by “metagrobolize,” and you can be both flummoxed and metagrobolized by “flabbergast.” “Flabbergast” first appeared in the 1700s. Today it means astonished or very, very surprised, but back when it was a new word (probably created by combining“flap” and “aghast”), it also meant terrified. The… Continue reading
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The Sayings of Chocolate
Chocolate is a young dog who always has plenty to say. After more than a year of intense study, I’ve learned how to translate much of what she passes along. To my surprise, she often speaks in rhyme, and usually has some trenchant observation to impart. On breakfast and playing chase in the back yard… Continue reading
About Me
I’m Pete Harbeson, a writer (among other things) located near Boston, Massachusetts. In addition to writing my own content, I’ve learned to translate for my loquacious and opinionated pup Chocolate Bossypaws. No surprise, she mostly speaks in doggerel. You can find her contributions tagged with Chocolatiana.
Check out my newsletter, Artisanal Scribbles, where I’m grappling with writing, authentic human authorship, integrity, and the craft of beauty in the AI age. You can also find some of my old software projects at GitHub. Nothing very impressive. I mostly wrote tiny utilities in Python and shell scripts. I’m mostly retired from coding nowadays.
I find myself suddenly de-corporatized (their choice, not mine). To help keep the lights on, buy me a coffee!
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Contact
peterharbeson@me.com