Pylimitics

"Simplicity" rearranged


Cages and sages in several pages

1

Magpie was so excited she could barely wait until she landed on a branch to tell Hare the news. Her feathers were all fluffed out, and she couldn’t stop folding and unfolding her wings.

“What’s the matter, Magpie?” asked Hare.

“I found her!” yelled Magpie.

“Ouch,” said Hare, rubbing his ears. “Found who?”

“Sloth! I found Sloth!”

“Really?” said Hare, “where is she? How’d you find her?”

“I was flying out past the town in a new direction; I don’t think I ever flew over there before,” said Magpie. “There’s a weird sort of park there, with all sorts of unusual animals. I swooped down for a closer look, and there she was…Sloth!”

“Did you talk to her?”

“Well no,” admitted Magpie. “She was asleep. But I’m sure it was Sloth. And here’s the thing, Hare, she was sleeping in a tree, upside-down as usual, but she was in a cage! So was the tree. It was a really big cage but she couldn’t get out. At least I don’t think she could. I flew around some more, and nearly everyone there was in a cage. Or at least behind a fence. And there were buildings, too, and I think somebody might be trapped inside them too.”

“Yikes,” said Hare, “what kind of a place was that?”

“There were a lot of people there too,” said Magpie, “just like the ones in the town. In fact I think a lot of them were the same ones. Anyway, they had a place with outside tables and food, so I landed in a tree nearby and listened to them — the place seems to be called a ‘zoo’.”

“Hang on a sec,” said Hare, “are you sure these cages are all closed up? Because Sloth was here in the forest, remember? So maybe she was in this zoo, then she left, and now she’s gone back. That doesn’t sound like a closed-up cage to me.”

“I know,” said Magpie, “I can’t figure it out either. But I talked to some birds there — some of them were just sitting in trees around the tables waiting for lunch, and some other ones were in cages themselves! They say they can’t find a way out at all. Or couldn’t, at least, until I helped.”

“You helped?” said Hare.

“Of course I did,” said Magpie, “a couple of those birds said they couldn’t get out but they wanted to, so I opened the door for them.”

“Why couldn’t they open the door themselves?” asked Hare.

“It was locked! They were trapped, and they weren’t supposed to be able to open it.”

“So how did YOU open the door?” asked Hare.

“Oh, that stuff is easy if you know how,” said Magpie. “It’s like a puzzle, and I’m good at puzzles. So I let them out, and before they flew away they said ‘thanks’ and seemed like they meant it.”

2

“How about Sloth, though? Do you think she might be trapped and want to get out too?”

“I don’t know…yet,” said Magpie. 

“I have an idea,” said Hare. “Maybe Ma and Pa Mouse will help. They could sneak in and talk to Sloth, then sneak back out.”

Ma and Pa Mouse agreed to help right away. “I remember cages from our job in the college,” said Ma. “Even though everybody could get out of their cages any time they wanted, not everybody liked being in cages at all. And a lot of folks said they only stayed for the benefits.”

“And the ice cream socials,” said Pa.

“Well, of course,” said Ma, “that goes without saying.”

“Too late,” said Pa, “already said it.”

“Anyway, we’ll set off right away,” said Ma. “It might take us a while; it sounds like a long trip.”

“How do you feel about flying?” asked Magpie. “I could carry you.”

“Wouldn’t bother me,” said Ma. “How ‘bout you, Pa?”

“Sure, why not?” said Pa. 

Magpie tried taking off carrying both Ma and Pa, but found out she could only carry one at a time. “I keep telling you to go easy on that cheddar,” said Ma to Pa.

“Never mind,” said Pa, “I think this really only needs one of us anyway. I’ll go. C’mon, Magpie.”

“That all right with you, Ma?” asked Hare.

“I s’pose so,” said Ma, “but Magpie, can I have a ride some other time? It sounds like fun to go flying around in the sky.”

“Sure, I’ll take you up tomorrow,” said Magpie. “Think about where you’d like to go, Ma. Come on, Pa, let’s get going. We’ll have to get lucky to find Sloth awake.”

After Magpie dropped Pa next to the cage where Sloth was, and pointed out the tree to climb, Pa found Sloth wide awake, chatting with someone who looked exactly like her. “Hello Sloth,” said Pa, “everything’s going to be okay; I’m here to rescue you.”

“Pa Mouse, how did you get here?” asked Sloth in surprise. “By the way, this is my friend Hoffmann, Pa. Hoffmann, this is Pa Mouse, from the forest.”

“PleezTaMeetcha,” said Pa. “Magpie flew me here, Sloth. We’re going to get you out of this cage.”

“Cage? What cage? What are you talking about , Pa Mouse?”

“I’m talking about the cage you’re in,” said Pa. “You’re in it too, Hoffmann.”

3

“Are you in it additionally, in that circumstance? Yes.” asked Hoffman. 

“Technically, I suppose so,” said Pa, who hadn’t thought of this before. “But I can get out whenever I want because I’m so small. You’re trapped, both of you!”

“Pa,” said Sloth, “are you sure about this? I don’t feel trapped. I can go wherever I want.”

“No you can’t. You can’t go back to the forest because it’s outside the cage.”

“It was very pleasant in the forest,” said Sloth, “but I didn’t say I wanted to go for another visit. And anyway, nobody really knows how I got there, or how I got here, even me. So who knows…maybe I’ll just wake up there again some day.”

“But…but…” sputtered Pa, “let me put it this way. You’re being held here against your will!”

I’m not,” said Hoffmann. “It’s not like somebody came up to me and said ‘will you be leaving,’ and I said ‘yes, I will, please,’ and then they said ‘no you won’t.’ THAT would be against my will. But did it happen? No. Did anyone ask about leaving? No. Would I say ‘yes, I will leave’ if anybody did ask? No. Now, Sloth, what was it we were talking about?”

“Toes,” said Sloth. “I have three on each foot, and you have two, and we were talking about that.”

“Is that right?” said Hoffmann. “Yes, it is. Well, Pa Mouse, how many toes do you have on each foot. Do I think you have just one, because you’re too small to fit any more than that? Yes, that’s what I think.”

“No, I have more toes than…HEY! Stick to the subject at hand!” said Pa.

“Is that exactly what we’re trying to do? Yes.” said Hoffmann. “Feet, hands, same thing. Toes are the subject at hand. Or at foot, as the case may be. And may the case be? Yes.”

Pa rubbed his head with his paw (which, he noticed, had FOUR toes). “The subject I mean is rescuing you, Sloth,” he said. “Both of you, in fact, now that I’ve met you, Hoffman.”

“Do I need rescuing? No,” said Hoffmann. “Do you need rescuing, Sloth?”

“I don’t think so,” said Sloth. “Why would you think I want to be rescued, Pa?”

“Because you’re in a CAGE!” said Pa, who was beginning to feel doubtful about the whole project. 

“You keep saying that,” said Sloth, “but I’m not sure you’re right about that, Pa. I’ve never seen this cage you mention.”

“It’s all around you, though,” said Pa. “Every direction you try to go, the cage will stop you.”

“I don’t think that’s true, Pa. I’ve lived here about as long as I remember, and I’ve gone in every direction I know of, and nothing has ever stopped me.”

Pa blinked. He’d seen the bars of the cage when he snuck though, so he knew it was there. But why didn’t Sloth know about it? Then he had an idea.

4

“Oh, I bet I know why, Sloth. Compared to me, you see everything upside-down. So maybe your directions aren’t the same as the ones I know about.”

“Are you serious?” asked Hoffmann. “Yes, I believe you are, Pa. Nevertheless, do I believe you’ve made a fundamental logical error? I do. Does initiating perception from one point of view mean that the directions you see differ from the directions seen from a different perspective? No, not in an absolute sense, it does not.”

“What?” said Pa. “I don’t quite understand what you mean, Hoffmann. 

“Shall I demonstrate?” said Hoffmann. “Yes, I believe I shall. Now, Pa Mouse, do you see that neighboring tree? The one right here?” He pointed.

“Of course I see the tree,” said Pa, “it’s right there in front of me.”

“Excellent,” said Hoffmann. Now, Pa, if you would kindly stand on your head…”

“If I would kindly do WHAT?” said Pa. “Stand on my HEAD? Why?”

“Will it become clear if you try it? It will. Please, Pa, just for a moment.”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” muttered Pa as he stood on his head. 

“Well done,” said Hoffmann. “Now, Pa Mouse, do you still see that neighboring tree?”

“Of course I do,” said Pa.

“Of course you do,” agreed Hoffmann. “Now, please point at it.”

Pa Mouse pointed at the tree. 

“Perfect,” said Hoffmann. “Now, if you can, Pa Mouse, get back on your feet, but keep pointing at the tree the whole time. Can you do it? I think you can.”

“I’m a grown-up mouse; why am I doing this,” muttered Pa as he rolled back up onto his feet, pointing at the next tree all the while. 

“There, do you have it?” asked Hoffmann. “You do,” he answered himself. 

“Have what?” asked Pa.

“The answer, naturally,” said Hoffman smugly. “You were just now upside-down yourself, were you not? Yes. And in switching from upside-downness to upside-upness, did the direction to the neighboring tree change one bit? No. And you can stop pointing at it now, Pa Mouse.”

“Oh,” said Pa, dropping his paw back down. “Okay, Hoffmann, I get it. So if you’re so smart, maybe you can explain what’s going on. You know about the cage, don’t you?”

“Am I in a cage? I think not,” said Hoffmann. “The answer you seek, Pa Mouse, might it be not in directionality but extent? Yes.”

5

Pa Mouse sighed. He was pretty sure Hoffmann liked to make things hard to understand just so he could sound smart. But that didn’t make the things he said any easier to understand. “Extent, Hoffmann? So, like, it’s not about what direction you go, but how far?”

“Do you see my point? You do,” said Hoffmann with a smile almost as big as Sloth’s. 

“So what you’re saying is that you and Sloth just don’t travel far enough to get to the edge of the cage, is that it?”

“Is that precisely it? Yes,” said Hoffmann.

“Maybe we should rescue you,” suggested Sloth.

“Rescue me?” asked Pa. “From what?”

“Aren’t there places you can’t go?” asked Sloth.

“I suppose there are, but not because of a cage,” said Pa.

“What’s the difference?”

“Well…I mean…look, it’s obvious,” said Pa. “If I can’t go to, I dunno, visit Bear, it’s not because somebody put me in a cage. It’s because it’s too far, and there’s a mountain, and…”

“But it works out the same way in the end, doesn’t it?” said Sloth.

“No. Yes. Maybe,” said Pa. “Look, Sloth, if I really wanted to go visit Bear, I could do it; I’d just have to get some help from somebody.”

“And you’d ask for that help?” said Sloth. “Or would Magpie, for example, just swoop down one day, pick you up, fly you to Bear’s cave up on some mountain, and dump you there even if you didn’t want to go?”

“Magpie wouldn’t do that,” said Pa, although he hoped the idea would never occur to Otter or Muskrat, because they’d probably get Magpie to do it just to be funny.

“Not even if Magpie thought you needed to be rescued?” said Sloth.

“I get your point,” said Pa. “But Sloth, did you say you liked the leaves from the forest better than the ones here?”

“Sure,” said Sloth. “And the funny thing is that since I got back, there’s a big basket of those very leaves right beside my tree every morning. So now it’s even better because I can have both.”

“Oh,” said Pa. He thought for a minute. “Maybe you’re right, Sloth. If you don’t want to be rescued, I guess there’s nothing wrong with staying where you are. But I’ll come back to visit sometimes, and you can tell me if you ever need rescuing, okay?”

“Yup,” said Sloth. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Pa Mouse, it’s time for a little nap.” With that, Sloth did the only thing she did quickly. She fell asleep.

6

“Huh,” said Pa. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Hoffmann.” Hoffmann didn’t answer; he’d fallen asleep even before Sloth. So Pa climbed down the tree and snuck back out of the cage to where Magpie was waiting. 

“What’s the plan?” asked Magpie.

“There isn’t any plan,” said Pa, “Sloth doesn’t want to be rescued. She doesn’t even believe she’s in a cage; she’s never seen it.”

“Really?” said Magpie. “But…well is there anyone else in the cage?”

“Oh, yeah,” said Pa, and told Magpie all about Hoffmann. “…and he doesn’t think there’s a cage either,” finished Pa. “And I might not want to rescue him anyway; it can be pretty frustrating talking to that guy. But no, there’s no rescue plan. I just said I’d come back to visit Sloth sometimes and she could tell me when she wants to be rescued. So can you bring me back sometimes, Magpie?”

“Sure,” said Magpie. “But while we’re here, maybe we should check in some of these other cages. I can see a lot of them when I’m flying over, and most of the folks in them probably move around a little more than Sloth, so they must know where they are. I bet they want to be rescued.”

“Well,” said Pa, “that’s a pretty good idea, Magpie, but if there are a lot of cages, maybe you should fly back and pick up Ma Mouse; that way she could help and we’d get to twice as many cages. And she’d get her ride, too.”

“Right,” nodded Magpie. “Meet you back here in a little while, Pa.” Magpie took off.

Pa looked around. There was another cage not too far away, so he headed toward it. It would be just as easy to sneak inside, and maybe somebody would want to be rescued.

By the time Magpie got back to the zoo with Ma Mouse (who had liked flying so much she was thinking about contacting her distant cousins the Bat family), Pa had snuck into and out of three cages. He’d met Walter Warthog, who said he didn’t need rescuing because he preferred the room service meals he ordered all the time, Millicent Monkey, who explained that she didn’t need rescuing because although she was in a cage, she knew how to get out any time she wanted. Pa didn’t believe her, so she showed him how she could do something complicated with the latch and open the door. Just to double-prove it, she snuck over to what she called the “snack bar” and came back with an ice cream for herself and a bag of peanuts for Pa. 

In the last cage Pa had visited he’d met Larry, who said he was a lynx. He said he’d have to think about this rescue business, but he kept staring at Pa in a way that made Pa very uncomfortable, and anyway it was about time for Magpie to arrive, so he’d left. 

“Not really what I was expecting,” said Pa, when Magpie arrived with Ma. “I thought everybody would want to be rescued. But some of them say they don’t want to be, and Millicent says she doesn’t need it.”

“Maybe we should keep going and try to talk to everybody,” said Ma. “Then maybe we could just rescue everybody who wants to be rescued.”

“Not a bad idea,” agreed Pa. “OK, let’s get started. Magpie, you know the layout of this place, right?”

7

“Right,” said Magpie, “I’ll take Ma over to the far side of the zoo and you can work toward each other. You’ll probably meet somewhere around the tiger cage.”

“What’s a tiger?” asked Pa.

Magpie thought for a minute. “It’s a giant cat,” she said, “and whoever talks to the tigers should be really careful. I’ve heard they’re not very nice. If I were you I think I’d try to talk to them from outside their cage.”

“That will depend,” said Pa, “but I’ll be careful.”

“I’ll start from this side,” Ma offered.

“OK, come with me, Pa, I’ll take you over to the far side,” said Magpie. Pa jumped aboard and they took off.

Ma looked around. Pa had already talked to Sloth, and to the monkeys in the neighboring cage, so she set off toward the next one after that. She couldn’t tell who might live inside, but just when she was about to walk in, somebody said “Psst! You there! Stop!”

Ma looked around but didn’t see anyone. “Who’s there?” she asked. 

“Over here,” said the voice. From behind some leaves stepped what looked like a very furry mouse. “You don’t want to go in there, it’s dangerous,” they said. 

“Why? How do you know?” asked Ma. “And who are you, anyway?”

“Name’s Gerry,” said the stranger. “I know because those cats in there almost caught me lots of times. From the looks of you, they’ll be after you, too.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” said Ma. “I’m on very good terms with quite a few cats. I used to work at the college — have you heard of it?”

“Never,” said Gerry. “But those cats you’re talking about, would you say they’re civilized cats?”

“I suppose so,” said Ma. “I never really thought about it.”

“Well the ones in here ain’t. They’re barbarians. Wild cats.” said Gerry with a shiver. “Anybody smaller than they are, well, they try to catch. They’re pouncers, you know.”

“Pouncers?”

“Yup. And real good at sneaking up on you, too. Take it from me, I know.”

“Oh my,” said Ma. “But maybe when they hear my message they’ll feel differently. I’m…we’re here…to rescue them.”

Rescue them?” said Gerry. “Are you nuts? If you let that crew out of their cage we’re the ones who’ll need to be rescued. Leave ‘em be.”

“But they’re trapped in those cages…” began Ma.

8

“And what of it?” said Gerry. “Better to have them trapped in there than us trapped out here.”

“Well,” said Ma. She felt bad not even trying to talk to the wild cats, but what Gerry said — not to mention the way he was talking — made her nervous. “Do you  think there’s a way to get them to come over near the bars so I can talk to them from out here?”

“Sure there is,” said Gerry, “but if you’re still thinking about this rescue idea, don’t expect me to help you. It’s crazy talk, that’s what I say.”

“I want to talk to them anyway,” said Ma. “I’ll be perfectly safe out here if they’re still in there, won’t I?”

“I guess,” said Gerry. 

“So can you get them over here so I can talk to them, please?”

Gerry picked up a stick, walked over to the cage, and banged on a bar, shouting “Hey, stupid cats!” as loudly as he could. Sure enough, in a moment two big, scruffy-looking creatures showed up inside the cage.

“It’s him again,” said one. 

“And there’s another one,” said the other.

“Excuse me,” said Ma, “I’m Ma Mouse, here from the forest, and we’re working on a plan to rescue you.”

“It talks,” said one of the cats.

“What did it say?” asked the other.

“Who cares?” said the first. 

“Rescue!” shouted Ma. “Because you’re in a cage!”

“Isn’t it nearly lunchtime?” asked the first cat.

“Without these bars it would be already,” said the second.

They both stared right at Ma and licked their lips in a very disconcerting way. Ma decided to try one more time.

“I need to talk to you,” she said firmly. “As I said, I’m Ma Mouse. I’m from the forest, and I’m here to work on a rescue plan.”

“It’s noisy,” said the first cat, still staring right at Ma.

“Who cares?” said the second, who was also staring at Ma.

The staring was making Ma very uncomfortable. She stamped her foot. “Didn’t your mothers teach you that staring is VERY RUDE?” 

9

Ma Mouse was waiting for an answer when the cats heard a noise from somewhere else in the cage. 

“Lunchtime,” said one.

“Right-o,” said the other.

They leapt away and were gone.

“Told ya,” said Gerry. “They’re barbarians. Wild. There’s no talking to them.”

Ma Mouse sighed. “Maybe you’re right,” she said. “I guess I’ll just move on to the next cage.

“Never mind,” said Gerry, “the next one was full of birds, but this weird thing happened. A black bird flew down, opened up the door, and they all flew away. So the next cage is empty. Well, except for Gloria and Gary, they’ve lived in there for ages.”

“Oh, that black bird was my friend Magpie. And maybe Gloria and Gary need to be rescued,” said Ma.

“Not likely,” said Gerry. “They’re my cousins; they go in and out all the time. They live in there because it’s so close to the groceries. Gloria is a great cook, but Gary, well, he’s a good guy but he’s kind of lazy. Didn’t want to go very far to go shopping, so he just moved closer.”

“Oh,” said Ma, “so they’re the same size as you and me?”

“Heck no,” said Gerry, “did I mention that Gloria’s a cook and Gary’s lazy? They’re not even close to my size; they’re both, well, they’re my cousins, but truth be told they’re just a bit overweight. I, on the other paw, keep myself in trim shape, see?” Gerry struck a pose. Ma didn’t say anything, but thought Gerry looked a trifle portly himself. But maybe, she thought, it was his thick fur. 

Gerry continued, “Still, whenever they invite me for dinner I’m right there; the things Gloria can do with sunflower seeds…yum!”

“Okay, I’ll just keep heading in that direction then,” said Ma. “It was nice meeting you, Gerry.”

“You’re just being polite, aren’t ya? I sorta wrecked your rescue plan, right?”

“Not at all. I don’t think those wildcats are going to cooperate anyway.”

“Cooperate? Them? Not a chance,” said Gerry. “Good thing you didn’t go in that cage, though. S’dangerous.”

“Thanks for the warning,” said Ma, “Bye for now. If you ever visit the forest, look us up.”

“Not much for long trips,” said Gerry. “Kinda like it where I am. Seeya later, Ma.” With that, Gerry went back under his bush and was gone. 

Ma Mouse started out past the wildcat cage, and past the empty cage where the birds had been, looking for the next one.

10

Meanwhile, Pa Mouse was on the other side of the zoo where Magpie had dropped him off. He was next to the tigers, and still trying to talk to them.

“A rescue is an excellent idea, boy,” one of the tigers was saying. “Get on that right away, won’t you, there’s a good fellow.”

“I’m not a boy,” said Pa.

“And when you open the door, if you would, wait beside it,” said the tiger.

“Like a proper doorman,” said another tiger.

“Quite so,” said a third. “Standing at attention, of course.”

“That means very, very, still,” said the first tiger. 

Then all the tigers snickered. It was a mean, nasty way of laughing, and Pa didn’t like it. 

“What exactly is your plan after the rescue?” asked Pa.

“Oh, I don’t know,” said a tiger. “Perhaps a snack; being rescued is hungry business.”

“Every kind of business is hungry business,” said another. 

“Boy, would you mind stepping over here to help me with this thorn in my paw?” said a third tiger. He waved a paw at Pa, who didn’t see any thorns anywhere.

“I told you, I’m not a boy,” said Pa. “And I don’t see any thorns in your paw.”

“Just a failure of vision, I expect,” said the tiger. “Come take a closer look and you’ll see it.”

The tigers snickered together again. Pa shivered.

“I have to get along to the other cages,” he said. “When it’s time for the rescue, you’ll be notified.”

The tigers stared at Pa. “Come back directly,” said one. “And don’t waste time the way you creatures usually do.”

“Oh you’re wasting your breath” said another tiger. “There are some things his kind just can’t learn, y’know. They lack the capacity.”

The tigers were still snickering as Pa left. He was pretty annoyed by the tigers, but also felt a little scared at the way they’d looked at him and at their mean snickering. “Maybe we should ask Bear to open their cage,” he said to himself. “But even Bear isn’t bigger than those bullies. Hmm.”

Ma and Pa finally met around the middle of the zoo. They found a secluded spot under a bush to compare notes.

“Not everybody wants to be rescued,” said Ma. “I didn’t expect that.”

“That’s what I found too,” said Pa. “And most of the ones who do want out…well, most of them made me kind of uncomfortable.”

“And how!” agreed Ma. “There were these wildcats I met..from outside the cage, thank goodness. I couldn’t even have a conversation with them.”

11

“The tigers were the worst I met,” said Pa. “They acted all superior, ordering me around and calling me ‘boy’. And then the lions, they were bad too. They were…I felt like they were trying to trick me all the time; talk me into things.”

“That sounds like the great big spotted cat I talked to,” said Ma. “She even admitted she was a cheater. She kept trying to make deals with me to come into her cage. I could tell it was just talk, though. She offered me a big pile of cheese, but I couldn’t see or smell a single bit.”

“When I talked to the goats and the sheep,” said Pa, “they couldn’t seem to understand what I meant by ‘rescue’. They said they were pretty happy where they were and thought moving to some other neighborhood was a big pain. They did ask if they were being evicted, though, and were really happy when I said no.”

“A lot of the others want to stay, too,” said Ma. “I tried to explain to the boars about how much more they could do in the forest, but when it came right down to it I guess they didn’t think there was all that much difference.”

Just then they heard Magpie calling them, so they came out from under the bush. “Oh, there you are,” said Magpie. “I think you’d had enough time — ready to head back to the forest and put our rescue plan together? Everybody’s going to meet in Hare’s meadow.”

“I guess we’re about done here,” said Pa. “Who are you taking home first, Magpie?”

“Both at once!” said Magie. “I asked Owl to come along to help.” Owl swooped down and landed. “Anybody need a ride back to the forest?” she asked.

Pa went with Owl and Ma rode with Magpie. When they arrived at the meadow, Hare had already set out sandwiches and tea cakes, and nearly everybody was already there.

“Our scouting party is back!” called Beaver. “Come on, Ma and Pa, tell us what you found out.”

Ma looked at Pa. Pa looked at Ma. “Well, you see…” began Ma. “It’s like this…” started Pa. “It wasn’t quite what we expected…” said Ma. “Plenty of surprises…” said Pa. “Not sure about the plan…” said Ma. “And some of them are dangerous…” said Pa.

“Hold on, everybody,” said Hare. “Ma and Pa just got back from an exhausting adventure. Let’s give them a while to recover, shall we? Here, Ma, have a tea cake. Pa, have one of these sandwiches.”

Ma and Pa took the food and sat down, gratefully. Everybody else grabbed something to eat as well, and nobody made any speeches for quite some time. Ma and Pa quietly talked over how they should tell everyone what they’d learned. Finally Pa said “OK, that’s it then. I’ll call everybody together.”

12

Pa clamored onto a stump and called “Attention! Excuse me, everybody! Hello! Hello!” Pa’s voice just wasn’t loud enough to get everybody’s attention, so finally Owl gave her biggest hoot and everyone looked up from their sandwiches, or, in the case of Otter and Muskrat, from their game of kick the dandelion. “I believe Ma and Pa Mouse are ready to explain the plan,” said Owl. “Over to you, Pa.”

“Thanks, Owl,” said Pa. “Now, everybody, it turns out that maybe this rescue idea maybe isn’t the greatest. Some of the folks in the zoo, y’see, don’t see anything wrong with being there. They like it right where they are.”

“They like it?” said Raccoon. “How can that be? They can’t get out of those cages.”

“Some of them don’t even know about the cages,” said Ma. “Sloth and her friend Hoffman stay in their trees and don’t move around much, and they never went far enough to see the cage.”

“And some folks, like the boars…” said Pa. “…and the goats and the sheep,” added Ma, “they like it there. They were worried that we were going to make them leave.”

“That’s just weird,” said Hare. “I can’t believe they don’t see anything wrong with just staying in the same place all the time.”

“Oh sure, like any of us go anywhere different,” said Otter. “We all like it right where we are.”

“Not me,” said Muskrat. He slid over a few inches. “OK, now I like it right where I am.” Otter and Muskrat started laughing until Beaver shushed them.

“And there’s one more thing,” said Ma Mouse. “About the only folks there who really wanted out were…well…we thought they were pretty dangerous. Like the wildcats. You can’t even talk to them.”

“And the tigers,” said Pa. “They gave me the shivers. Lions too.”

“And I met another giant cat — this one had spots — who admitted being a cheater,” said Ma. 

“Oh, you mean a cheetah,” said Beaver.

“Right, that’s what I said, a cheater,” said Ma. Beaver put his head in his paws. 

“Anyway, we don’t think it would be a good idea to let that bunch out,” said Pa. “The way they look at you…it’s scary.”

“We could just ask Bear to…” began Hare.

“You don’t understand,” said Pa, “some of these folks are just as big as Bear, or bigger, and there are more of ‘em. And they’re bullies.” 

“I think they might be worse than bullies,” said Ma. 

“So all we’re saying is that we need to give this thing more thought,” said Pa. 

“That’s right,” said Ma, “a lot more thought.”

“But I let the birds out,” said Magpie, “and they liked it, and nothing bad happened.”

13

“Birds are one thing,” said Pa, “those giant cats are something else.”

“Ok,” said Hare, “let’s think about it tonight, and meet here again tomorrow. We can decide what to do then.”

Everyone agreed that was a good idea, and the gathering turned into a regular picnic that lasted until all the sandwiches and tea cakes were gone. By dusk, everyone had wandered off, heading back home or, in the case of Otter and Muskrat, to go play by the river. 

That night, Hare tossed and turned, thinking so much he had a hard time falling asleep. He eventually gave up and just got up very early to start making more sandwiches and tea cakes for the meeting that day. As he worked, he thought some more, and finally realized that at some point, without really noticing, he’d decided something. 

Later that day, everyone in the forest met again in Hare’s meadow. Stacks of sandwiches and plates of tea cakes were set out everywhere. 

“When did you have time to make all this food all over again?” asked Squirrel.

“Couldn’t sleep,” said Hare. “Too much to think about. So I decided to make use of my time.”

“Excellent choice,” said Raccoon, munching on a tea cake “Thanks, Hare, you’re the best.”

Hare was about to reply, but just then Beaver called for everyone’s attention. “We’ve all had a chance to think about what Ma and Pa Mouse told us,” he said, “so now we can decide what to do. And I’ll go first. I think unless there’s some folks in that zoo who really want out, and can be trusted to live out here amongst us, we should just leave well enough alone.”

“I think so too,” said Hedgehog. “I worry about what could happen with those wildcats and tigers, and that cheater cat.”

“Cheetah,” said Beaver.

“That’s what I said,” said Hedgehog. 

They went around so everybody had a chance to say what they thought, and most everyone agreed with Beaver and Hedgehog. Fox thought they should just open all the cages and wait to see what happened. Otter and Muskrat thought it would be funny if they all went to the zoo and snuck INTO the cages instead of the other way around. Finally they came to Hare, who was last to speak.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” said Hare, “especially about what Otter and Muskrat had to say yesterday.”

“Me?” asked Otter.

“Us?” asked Muskrat. They looked at each other, then laughed so hard they fell over. 

“What is it with those two?” scolded Squirrel.

“I think nobody ever told them that they’d said anything worth thinking about,” said Mole. “But let’s find out what Hare is talking about.”

14

“They said we all like it right where we are, and we never go anywhere,” Hare was saying. 

“Except for me,” said Muskrat to Otter. “I moved over.” That was enough to set off another fit of laughter for the two. Hare waited for them to calm down.

“I realized they were right,” said Hare. “It seems like a big difference, living here in the forest or living in a zoo, but maybe it’s not so different after all. We never really go anywhere. I never really go anywhere. It’s like I live in a cage too.”

“But you can go anywhere you want,” protested Porcupine. 

“What good is that unless I do it, though?” asked Hare. “And that’s why I’ve decided to go on a trip. A really long trip.”

“Where?” asked Dog. “Are you going in a car? It’s really fun to ride in a car, especially if the window is down.”

“Don’t know where, and don’t have a car,” said Hare. “I’m just going.”

“Okay, then, when?” asked Raccoon.

“Right now,” said Hare. He picked up a small bundle from beside him. “By everyone. I’ll see you when I get back. My tea cake recipe is inside on the kitchen counter if anyone wants to make some.” 

Hare hopped off across the meadow. Everyone watched him go, some gaping in surprise.

“Ahem! Well, er, that was…I mean to say,” said Beaver.

“So we’re not doing the rescue, then, right?” said Magpie.

“I believe not,” said Beaver. “Other than your heroic assistance provided to the zoo birds, Magpie.”

“What’s gotten into Hare?” asked Squirrel. “Where’s he off to?”

“I dunno,” said Raccoon, “but I’m going to try that tea cake recipe. Just because Hare isn’t here shouldn’t mean we can’t still have tea cakes.”



About Me

I’m Pete Harbeson, a writer located near Boston, Massachusetts. In addition to writing my own content, I’ve learned to translate for my loquacious and opinionated pup Chocolate. I shouldn’t be surprised, but she mostly speaks in doggerel. You can find her contributions tagged with Chocolatiana.