Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet were walking along in a far corner of the Hundred Acre Wood — a place Piglet thought they’d never been before — when they came upon a tall stone wall built alongside the path. There wasn’t anything to stop anyone from walking along one side of the wall or the other.
“The question is,” said Pooh, “why build a tall stone wall if it’s not made to keep the outside out, Piglet?”
“I don’t know, Pooh,” said Piglet. Being a Very Small Animal, Piglet thought the wall was enormous. “The wall is built much too high. If anyone climbed up to the top, they might fall.”
“That’s right, Piglet,” said Pooh. Then he had another thought, and said “If it doesn’t keep the outside out, then the inside won’t know how to stay in, either.”
“Which side IS the inside?” asked Piglet.
Pooh thought about this for a moment. Then he sat down on a nearby rock and put his chin on his paw so as to Think Better. Finally he said “Piglet, I don’t know how to tell which is the Inside and which is the Outside. If you go to the end of the wall, they get all mixed together.”
“We can’t tell?” squeaked Piglet. For some reason, not knowing which side of the wall was which made him feel nervous. “Maybe we could ask someone who knows about the wall, Pooh.”
“That’s a very good idea, Piglet,” said Pooh. “But I haven’t seen anyone nearby. At least not yet.”
“Hey,” said a gravelly voice, “youse two mugs could ask me. I might not tell ya nothin, but dis might be yer lucky day. I might spill da beans. Let the cat outta da bag. Sing. Ya never knows wit’ me.”
Piglet and Pooh looked toward where the voice came from and saw that somebody really had climbed to the top of the wall. And there he was, sitting there.
“Oh, hullo,” said Pooh, “We didn’t see you up there at first. My name is Pooh, and this is my friend Piglet.”
“Yeah, yeah, as if I didn’t already know dat,” said the person on top of the wall. He was quite round — even stouter than Pooh — and he wore a dark suit and a hat. “It’s my biz to find things out, see? I’m a tec. A flatfoot. A private eye. Need anyt’ing found out?”
“Well,” said Pooh, “we were just saying that we can’t tell which is the inside and which is the outside. About the wall, you know.”
“Dat’s all ya wanna know?” asked the round fellow. “Sure, I can look into it for ya. Just a sec.” And saying that, he started to wobble back and forth in his seat on top of the wall.
“Oh dear, look out!” squeaked Piglet, seeing how close the edge was.
“Nah, I got this,” he said, and tipped right off the wall and fell all the way down to the ground.
“Eek!” squeaked Piglet. He was sure the chap had been smashed to pieces by the fall. “Oh Pooh, he fell!”
Pooh and Piglet hurried to where the stranger had landed, and found that he was just getting up and dusting off his suit.
“OK,” he said, adjusting his tie. “So youse guys wanna know which side a’ dis wall is de inside, eh?”
“Er…” said Piglet, who was still trembling from watching the fall.
“I suppose we do,” said Pooh.
“Well I’m yer guy,” said the newcomer. He reached into an inside pocket of his suit and pulled out two business cards. He handed one to Pooh and the other to Piglet. The card read S. Dumpty and Associates, Discrete Investigations.
“Pleased to meet you Mr. Dumpty”, said Pooh politely.
“Yeah, yeah,” said Dumpty, “stow it; I’m workin’.” He peered carefully around, then turned toward the wall and stared at it suspiciously. “OK,” he said finally, “dis is de way it is. Dis side here, see? Dis is de OUTside of it. Which would make de other side…”
“The inside!” said Piglet, who was feeling much calmer after seeing that Mr. Dumpty hadn’t been hurt. “Oh, Mr. Dumpty, I’m so glad you weren’t hurt in that fall.”
“Nah,” said Dumpty, “you prob’ly heard about my cousin; it was all over the wires a while back. He did the same thing, but that was the end a dat mug. But me, I’m different. Little thing like that don’t mean nothin’ to me.”
“Oh,” said Pooh, “your cousin fell off a wall but he did get hurt?”
“Yeah, that’s the story,” said Dumpty. “He got real broke up about it. Nobody could put dat jamoke back together again.”
“I’m glad you’re different,” began Pooh, but Dumpty looked like he was getting ready to leave.
“Yeah, I been through different stuff in my time,” said Dumpty. “I gotta go see a guy about a t’ing right now, but dere’s one t’ing about me that’s real different from my cuz.”
“What’s that?” asked Piglet, who was starting to like Mr. Dumpty and the strange way he talked.
“After all da stuff I been through? I guess I wind up in hot water every day a’ da week.” said Dumpty. “Hard boiled, I guess dat’s what you’d call me. Say, fellas, it’s been real. I’ll see youse around.” With that he walked away down the path.
Pooh and Piglet stood there — on the outside of the wall — for a little while. Finally Piglet said “Mr. Dumpty wasn’t like anyone in the Hundred Acre Wood, Pooh. I wonder where he came from?”
Pooh thought for a moment, then he said “I think, Piglet, that Mr. Dumpty might have come from the inside of that wall.
