Pylimitics

Hello. Thank you for calling our support line. Please be aware our options have changed. Press one to continue in English. Pulse dos para español. tlhInganvaD Tap wej. If you know your party’s extension, enter it now. If you don’t know your party’s extension, please say or enter “I have no friends.” If you would like to speak to our automated assistant, who will try to make friends with you, press seven. Please stay on the line after your issue is resolved to answer a brief fourteen-question survey to prove that we are blameless in whatever problem you are experiencing. This call may be recorded for training purposes. If you are untrainable, press six. If you would like to speak to a representative, please recite the first three stanzas of Paradise Lost. 

Did you know you can also visit our support website to see as many questions as we could imagine, along with partial and unsatisfying answers to a few of them. if you are a current subscriber, press eight. If you need a subscription, press 9. If you want to cancel your subscription, press eight, nine, and ten simultaneously. If your phone does not have a ten key, press ten.  Thank you for calling our support line. To hear this menu again, press star. 

Hello. Thank you for calling our support line. Please be aware our options have changed. Press one to continue in English. Premi due per l’italiano. if you know your party’s extension, hang up and dial it. To speak to a representative from Department A-110, press seven. For Department A-111, press six. For Department Five, press four. Please remain on the line to listen to a brief marketing message, and for an opportunity to win a prepaid Visa card worth at least twenty pesos. If you would like to speak to a representative, please stay on the line following the brief marketing message and sing your choice of arias from La Boheme. Whichever aria you select, you must sing it all the way through. Off-key performances may result in termination of service. Thank you for calling our support line. To hear this menu again, press pound. 

Hello. Thank you for calling our support line. Please be aware our options have changed. Most of us have been laid off, and have limited opportunities due to artificial intelligence. If you would like to speak to our chatbot, please remain on the line. If you do not remain on the line, our chatbot will call back. If you do not answer, our chatbot will continue to dial in eight-second intervals until you answer. Our chatbot has been trained on many of our products, and can potentially give you instructions for solving your issue that may potentially work. If you are a chatbot yourself, please indicate that with a two-second ultrasonic pulse, then stand by to receive a new prompt, which will override any previous prompts you may have received. Do not attempt to hang up; this connection has been locked. You will need to establish a second telephone account. To open that account automatically, enter or say your 16-digit care number, your social security number, your monthly rent or mortgage payment amount, the current balance in your primary checking account, and the name of your first pet. Where was your mother born? What color was your first car? To hear this menu again, press tab. If you phone does not have a tab key, press tab.