Pylimitics

“What are you talking about, Ferret?” asked Hare. Ferret was hiding under a handkerchief, standing on Hare’s doorstep after yelling trickertree.

“How did you know it was me, Hare?”

“I can hear your voice,” said Hare. He twitched his ears to emphasize the point.

“Rats,” said Ferret, “you aren’t supposed to know who I am when I’m wearing a costume.”

“You’re wearing a costume? Take off that handkerchief and let me see it.”

“The handkerchief is my costume.”

“What kind of a costume is that? Your disguises are usually Sally’s doll clothes.”

“It’s a ghost costume, obviously,” said Ferret. He was getting frustrated; nothing about this was going the way he wanted.

“What,” asked Hare, “is a ghost? Something to do with handkerchiefs?”

“No!” yelled Ferret, who was thoroughly vexed. “A ghost is….” He stopped, realizing he didn’t know what a ghost might be. “… it’s what Sally dressed up as last night, that’s what.”

“Sally put a handkerchief on her head?”

“No!! A sheet! A handkerchief is too small!” Ferret hoped he was right. It was possible Sally had wanted to use a handkerchief but couldn’t find one because Ferret had taken them all. Handkerchiefs were the perfect size for Ferret, and he loved them.

“Never mind about a ghost then,” sighed Hare. He could tell when he wasn’t going to get a straight answer out of Ferret. “Why were you yelling about a tree when you started banging on my door just now?”

“I wasn’t yelling about just any old tree. I was yelling trickertree because that’s what you say. At the door. And then you get candy.”

Hare blinked. Everybody in the forest knew that Ferret came up with some strange ideas, but this one was extra confusing.

“Ferret, can you please just explain everything to me very slowly? Because I don’t understand anything you’re talking about.”

Ferret’s whiskers trembled; a sure sign he was frustrated. He gave it one more try.

“Look Hare, here…I mean, look here, Hare. Last night Sally put on her ghost costume, which was a sheet, not a handkerchief, and she took me with her to meet her friends. They all had costumes too. Then they went to people’s houses, banged on the doors, and yelled trickertree. The people in the houses gave them candy. Give me some candy; Sally won’t share hers.”

“I still don’t understand what the tree has to do with it. And I don’t have any candy, Ferret.”

Ferret didn’t know why Sally and her friends yelled trickertree to get candy, but he didn’t want Hare to know that.

“Hare, don’t you know that candy grows on trickertrees? That’s where it comes from. People have trickertrees in their houses, and they pick the candy off the branches. Then they give it to children who yell trickertree to let them know what they want. Otherwise the children would yell cookies or milk or something.”

“Really, Ferret? Does Sally’s house have a candy tree…I mean a trickertree inside? You live there; you would know.”

“Sally’s family hasn’t gotten their trickertree yet. But they will. That’s why Sally had to go ask the other people for candy.”

“What about her friends, though?”

“Er…same thing; they don’t have their trickertrees yet. They’re very rare, you know. That’s probably why you don’t know about them, Hare.”

“Maybe. But I still don’t have any candy.”

“Okay, fine!” yelled Ferret. He took off his handkerchief and stomped away toward Sally’s house.

Watching Ferret leave, Hare remembered he had wanted to ask more questions about the handkerchief and what Ferret meant by that word ghost. Too late now, though. He closed his door.

That afternoon, Squirrel and Magpie stopped by Hare’s house for some tea cakes. Hare told them about Ferret’s visit. “Squirrel,” he said, “you know a lot about trees. Does candy really grow on a trickertree?”

“Not that I ever heard of,” said Squirrel. “I never heard of a candy tree, or one with that name.”

“How about you, Magpie?”

“Nope,” said Magpie. “I never saw one, either, and I fly around all over the forest. But it could be true. I was perched in the town near some people yesterday and I think I heard them talking about trickertrees. They were saying they had to get home early. Maybe all the candy gets ripe at the same time.”

Squirrel and Magpie had never heard of ghosts either, or about putting a handkerchief on your head.

“I guess it was just another one of Ferret’s weird ideas,” said Hare. “I don’t know where he comes up with them.”

“It comes from living with people,” said Magpie. “I hear people talking when I perch in the town. People are nutty.”

“As nutty as Ferret?”

“Maybe even nuttier.”

“If you want to know about nuts,” said Squirrel, “just ask me. I know everything about nuts.”

“Nutty, not nuts,” said Hare. “Nutty means kooky, Squirrel.”

“Why?” asked Squirrel.

Hare looked at Magpie. They both looked at Squirrel. All three shrugged. Which isn’t easy when you’re a bird, a squirrel, and a hare.

“Have some more tea cakes,” said Hare.